Salvation
by Nanook026
Summary: Two years after the events in the book, this story focuses on Johnny Cade, and tries to provide a happy ending to the otherwise doomed character.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So this is my first short story in a long time. I feel I should warn you. If you don't like romance stories, and don't like new characters added to The Outsiders, than you won't like this. Also, be warned, though I am ashamed to admit it... I am sometimes a little over the top. I try to tone it down, but sometimes I just can't. Also, thought I brought Johnny back from the dead, I had originally left Dally dead. After reading lots of other stories posted here, I realized that Dally seems to be one of the more popular characters. I decided to resurrect him too. Maybe in future chapters or stories, Mr. Winston will make an appearance!  
**

**I haven't seen the TV show, so I based the stuff I have in here on the book and the movie, as well as some of the other books by S. E. Hinton which had some of these characters (namely "That was then, this is now" - for anyone wondering who Cathy is, or what I meant by 'The Ribbon').**

**Finally, I really did do my best to recreate the characters. I don't think I did a very good job at times though. Still, it's an exercise in writing and I hope to get better at it as time goes by. Any advice/suggestions regarding character behaviour, or how to tone down the melodrama, PLEASE let me know.  
**

**I'm extremely nervous about posting this. So... here goes! I hope someone out there enjoys it, anyway...**

**Disclaimer: Guess what? I don't own The Outsiders, though I did create Ava...  
**

When the bell rang out over the PA system, Ponyboy Curtis jumped out of his seat, threw his math books recklessly into his backpack and headed out the classroom door as quickly as possible._ Finally, _he thought, _Math class is over. I thought it would never end._ He had to hurry too, since Two-Bit would be waiting for him in the parking lot. They were going to head over to the DX to meet up with Soda and Steve.

He was deep in thought about the take home math test he had stuck between the pages of the text book. He had no idea how he was going to get through it. It was due on Monday, and he had big plans for both Friday and Saturday nights, which left him only tonight and Sunday to get the whole thing done. Math was not a strong point for Ponyboy, and he knew it would be a struggle to get through the logarithms in time, to say nothing of getting a good mark.

At least his marks had improved, though, he pondered as he shoved his way through the crowd of students gathering in the halls. Sure, his tenth grade year had been a tough one. In fact, he had barely made it through, what with Johnny killing the soc. If he hadn't done so well in English, and gotten the doctor's notes, then he knew he would be in tenth grade again this year, instead of in the last haul of eleventh.

But then, Johnny's miraculous recovery had had something to do with his grades improving too. As he rushed down the stairs to the High School's main level, his thoughts once more turned to Johnny, and the past year.

He had thought Johnny was dead for sure, the way his hand had slid from Ponyboy's arm, the raspy words escaping past the cracked lips: _Stay Gold_. But then, he had never heard of a coma before a few weeks later, after his own recovery and the hearing. Maybe if he had heard of one, he could have explained it to Dally… He stopped himself suddenly. He wouldn't think of Dally yet. He'd promised himself he wouldn't think of Dally at all until his friend was released. It was nearly too much to bear and if there was one thing he had learned over the past two years, it was that he shouldn't dwell on events he couldn't change.

When the word came, nearly two months after the hearing, that Johnny had woken up, Ponyboy couldn't decide if he was dreaming or not. He thought it had to have been a dream, but when he stood over his best friend's scarred body, and realized Johnny still couldn't stand, or even feel anything below the middle of his back, Pony decided that it was less of a dream and more of a nightmare.

And then there was telling Johnny about Dally. If a burned up body and broken back hadn't been enough to kill his best friend, then Ponyboy was sure that this news would be. Johnny didn't move, speak or eat for days. It was like he had died all over again. Ponyboy had almost wished that Johnny had died that night months earlier. At least then he wouldn't have had to face Dally's imprisonment, and his parents' never ending abuse, not to mention the new hearing which was brought up. Reliving the night of Bob Sheldon's death would be torture for sweet, gentle tempered Johnny Cade. And yet, for some reason, God had decided to put him through all of that, on top of everything.

When things were looking at their worst, though, a miracle had occurred. First, it was just a twitch. Johnny's mother had been there giving him hell over all the trouble he was causing, and Johnny had gotten so worked up. Ponyboy remembered hearing her from where he sat in the orange plastic chair outside the room. He'd been staring at the paisley wall, pondering how garish the clash between the chairs and the paint, when the door slammed and Mrs. Cade came out, her cheap, red high heels creating a staccato of clicking, echoing through the empty hall as she stormed out. He had stood up and gone in. Johnny was laying on his back, and tears were rolling out the edge's of his dark eyes, which were shut tightly. When he heard Ponyboy come in, he didn't say anything.

"Johnny.." Ponyboy said, placing his hand on Johnny's shin. It was then that he felt it. The leg, from the knee down, twitched. Ponyboy nearly jumped out of his skin, and Johnny stopped crying, in shock. "Johnny! Did you feel that?" Ponyboy had gasped, letting go of the leg and taking a step back. Johnny had hoisted himself up onto his elbows, and stared at his feet, his eyes wider than Ponyboy had ever seen them.

Johnny had been in a wheel chair when they discharged him from the hospital, but he went back everyday for his physiotherapy, and nearly a year and a half later, he was on crutches. Everyday Ponyboy, Two-Bit, or someone would come and help out as Johnny slowly learned to walk again. Now, Johnny had been walking on his own for 3 months, though he still couldn't walk for a very long time without getting tired out and sore.

Ponyboy threw open the school's front door and started toward Two-Bit's Plymouth. Even though Two-Bit had just turned 21, he was still going to school everyday. At least now he was a senior. Ponyboy was sure that this would be Two-Bit's last year, as the faculty were so tired of his antics and wise-ass manner, they would pass him just to make sure he graduated and wouldn't come back another year. Ponyboy felt a pang at the thought of his friend's absence through his own final year of high school. Then he reminded himself: _Don't borrow trouble._

"What's up with the big times?" Two-Bit called as Ponyboy neared him. "I thought you'd be waiting for Cathy or something."

"Didn't I say I was going to meet up with you?" Ponyboy retorted.

XXX

Ava Lamont jotted down some final notes as the bell rang out over the PA system. The rest of the class seemed to jump and all rush for the door in a mad dash, while she finished crossing her T's. She brushed her strawberry blond, wavy locks over her shoulder impatiently as she fitted her notes properly into her binder, and gathered up her math text book and calculator. The logarithms take home test would be easy, she sighed, and thought: _I wish they would let me in the advanced math class. I feel almost bored…_ She knew it wasn't likely to happen though and reminded herself she should consider herself lucky they had let her into this class, after missing almost the entire school year.

As she stood, pressing her books to her chest and turning to head out the door, she noticed something on the floor in front of her. Stooping to pick it up, she saw it was a copy of the test. The name "Ponyboy Curtis" was typed neatly at the top of the page. _Ponyboy Curtis_, she thought as she left the classroom. _Isn't that the name of Cathy's steady beau?_

She had met Cathy in home economics class three weeks ago. Cathy had stopped her from adding too much baking powder to the biscuits, which had saved Ava from an "F" on the assignment. She was also the first person Ava had met who might be called a friend, since coming to Tulsa last summer.

It might have been boring and lonely for her, those first six months here, if she hadn't still been sick with TB. As it was, she was only well enough to consider company in December, and then her mother and father and brothers and sisters had come to visit, staying the loneliness and boredom until after the New Year.

It had taken all her pleading and begging to convince her aunt and uncle to let her come back to school. But when they saw how hard she studied, and the scores on her placement tests, they had at last relented.

_I wonder if Ponyboy Curtis knows he's missing his test paper?_ She thought as she headed down the hall. She smiled to herself at the strange coincidence. She had only met Cathy a few weeks ago, sure. And Cathy didn't talk a lot about Ponyboy, though she did mention him. It was strange that he had been sitting in front of Ava all this time, and she hadn't know this was Cathy's beau.

She found Cathy in the girl's washroom with some other girls from their grade. They were all giggling and fixing their hair, putting on make up.

"Hey Cathy," Ava smiled as she came in. Cathy turned and smiled back. She still had long, charcoal hair and matching eyes. Ava had instantly liked Cathy upon their first meeting, but what had really solidified the friendship was the fact that Cathy was also very smart, and cared as much about school as Ava did. "I think I found something that belongs to Ponyboy." Ava handed the test paper over to Cathy, who took it and read the name at the top.

"I'm not surprised." Cathy sighed. "He can be pretty bad for losing things, and forgetting things… leaving things behind." Cathy rolled her eyes, and Ava smirked. She knew Cathy was referring to the time Ponyboy had almost forgotten her at the hot dog stand, while on a date at The Ribbon.

"It's due on Monday. Don't you two have a date or something? Do you think you could give it to him then?" Ava asked, tilting her head slightly to the right. She did this out of a habit, something she wasn't sure where she had picked up, but was always acutely aware after she did it. Her older brother Alex often told her she looked like a ditzy blonde when she did it.

"Not until tomorrow night. It's a party for one of his friends." Cathy pursed her lips in thought. "If he doesn't get it started tonight, he won't have time to do it all before Monday. Ponyboy hates math and won't give up either his night with his friends or our date to work on a math test. I guess I'll have to take it to him."

Ava knew what that meant. Cathy had an after school job working in the cafeteria of the hospital on the East side. Since she didn't have a car, it was all Cathy could do to get there on time via the bus. "I can take you. I have my car today." Ava offered. "I can take you to his place, we can drop it off, and then I'll take you to work."

Cathy raised her eyebrows in awe. "Ava, it's so far for you. We live on the other side of town from you, and so is my job."

"It's OK." Ava laughed. "It's not like I have any big plans for this afternoon." _You're my only friend, other than Aunt Eileen and my garden, _she thought privately.

"Really? Are you sure you don't mind?" Cathy asked again, this time her voice lilting in hope.

"Sure!" Ava laughed. "Anyway, I've never seen the East side of Tulsa, and the way my Uncle Will goes on about it, I'd like to see it. It'll be great to tell him I saw his old stomping grounds."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hello again for anyone who is still out there reading. I wrote this chapter a couple of times, and I don't know how I feel about it. It's really the part where I try to explore the boys' characters/relationships. It's hard because I don't want to just rehash stuff which was in the book, but try to predict/imagine how they would act in different circumstances. Also, a few years have past since the events in the book, and the characters would have matured a bit, I feel.**

**Anyway, if you have any advice on how to write these characters better, PLEASE let me know. I noticed that I actually had a few hits, and yet no one wrote any reviews! :( I appreciate all reviews (as long as the criticism is constructive and the praises are realistic... though I don't think I have much to worry about in terms of the latter). So PLEASE let me know what you think.**

**Usual Disclaimer: The Outsiders just ain't mine...  
**

Ponyboy and Two-Bit, Steve and Soda pulled into the driveway at the Curtis house. Johnny was sitting on the front step, his knee jerking nervously. As the other four climbed out of the car, he stood up, still hunched over a bit, his black eyes wide and darting nervously up and down the street. He didn't call out to them as they approached.

Johnny was more nervous than ever, Ponyboy thought, while watching his friend's darting eyes and stooped over physique. He hopped out of the car and approached his best friend. Ever since the hearing, and Johnny being released with only probation, things had just gotten worse for his friend. Though the rumbles and fights between Greasers and Socs had died down a bit over the last few years, Johnny had become even more of a target than he had been. Except now it wasn't just his scared demeanour that attracted unwanted and often violent attention, it was his reputation as a Soc killer.

Over the last two years Johnny had gotten jumped so often that he now rarely left the house after dark, unless it was with at least two others. In addition to the scar from Bob Sheldon's rings and the burns over his arms and torso, Johnny had acquired a few more momentos, made from broken bottles or switch blades pulled in dark alleys. Ponyboy often wondered how it would feel to be reminded of every beating when looking at one's own reflection in the mirror. Each disfiguring mark wouldn't seem not unlike a brand of death and violence. It was no wonder that at 18-nearly-19, Johnny seemed defeated.

"What's happenin', Johnnycakes?" Two-Bit called, taking the steps two at a time. "I thought you were meeting with your probation officer this afternoon."

"Ended early." Johnny mumbled.

"How does it feel to be a free man?" Steve nearly shouted, dropping his arm over Johnny' shoulder as the gang headed inside.

"Yeah, free! Now you can party with us and quit your job!" Two-Bit agreed happily.

"I ain't quittin' my job." Johnny shook his head.

A few months back, Johnny's mother and father had a huge row. His father had left, but not until after giving Johnny a black eye and a bloody lip. Even though he was 18 now, Johnny still wouldn't fight back. Instead, he had gone to the vacant lot and been staying there until Ponyboy had found out. After that, Johnny had moved in with the Curtis brothers. He refused to live off their 'charity', though, and had quit school and gotten a job to pay Darry for his room and board. Ponyboy had been near tears when Johnny told him he was quitting school. They'd been in the same grade, what with Ponyboy skipping ahead and Johnny losing a year while he was sick. But it wasn't just that he had missed seeing his best buddy in class everyday, he just couldn't bare to see Johnny be a drop out, like Soda.

"I hate school anyway, " Johnny had consoled. "And I'm ain't like you or Darry… I'm no good at it. I'm just too dumb." He had continued.

"You ain't dumb, Johnny." Ponyboy scowled.

"Yeah, well, tell that to the teachers." Johnny shrugged. "Anyway, it's real nice of Darry to let me stay with y'all. And I ain't goin' to take advantage of his generosity. It wouldn't be fair for him and Soda to have to take care of me, what with me not being family."

"Johnny, you _are _family." Ponyboy had protested.

"No, I'm not, Pony." Johnny had shaken his head. Ponyboy knew how Johnny felt about his own mother and father. The mother and father who either ignored him or used him as a punching bag. He decided to say nothing more about family to Johnny. "I'm just gonna quit school, get a job and pay Darry for letting' me stay at your house." Johnny's voice had had a tone of finality to it, a quivering one, but one none the less.

Though he hated not seeing Johnny at school anymore, he was reconciled to it by the fact he now got to see Johnny every day at home.

"I can't wait for tomorrow night!" Soda exclaimed with a yelp as they all came crashing into the living room, tossing their work and school stuff all over. "A real party like we haven't had in ages. A 'Johnny's probation is over' party!"

"I am gonna get _blind drunk_. Who are y'all bringing?" Two-Bit asked, grabbing himself a beer from the fridge.

"Evie." Steve shrugged, helping himself to the chocolate cake.

"Cathy." Ponyboy said from where he slid onto the couch.

"I'm goin' stag." Soda announced, to everyone's surprise. "There are so many girls goin' to be there tomorrow, I want to keep my options open." Two-Bit nodded.

"Say, I like that idea. I was thinking about asking this new girl I met at the drugstore the other day, but I guess I'll go stag too. Still, someone should invite her. It just can't be me."

"Why can't it be you?" Johnny asked quizzically.

"Cause then she'll think I'm asking her on a date. But I'm not, see. I don't want to get saddled with her in case some better-looking girl comes along."

"Get saddled with her? Real nice. If you had any sense at all, you'd take whatever girl'd have you." Ponyboy shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Would you listen to the mouth on this kid?" Two-Bit asked incredulously, taking another long haul off his beer. He set his beer down on the table and leapt at Ponyboy.

"Two-Bit, for the love of God lay off!" It was Darry, just in from work and slamming the screen door behind him. Soda and Steve, who were just about to launch themselves into the impromptu wrestling match, retook their seats.

"Mr. Muscles is home from work and in a bad mood." Steve muttered under his breath to no one in particular.

"Hey Darry, how was work?" Soda asked.

"Fine." Darry mumbled, heading toward his room.

"Jeez, Dar, glad to see you too." Ponyboy rolled his eyes from where he lay on the ground. The boys went back to discussing the upcoming party, and were regaining their enthusiasm when Darry appeared again half an hour later, showered and changed out of his work clothes.

"Pony did you start dinner yet?" He demanded, opening the fridge door.

"Not yet. We only just got in a bit ago. What do you want? I can start it now." Ponyboy rose and headed for the kitchen. Behind his back, Sodapop smiled to himself and sighed in relief. Not long ago Ponyboy would have taken Darry's question as an affront. But over the last two years, though Ponyboy could still be pretty mouthy at times, he was really trying hard to get along with Darry. Darry, in turn, tried not to get on his youngest brother's case as much. All in all, their efforts made for a much more peaceful home life.

As Darry and Ponyboy discussed dinner, Two-Bit turned on the TV and switched the channel to Mickey Mouse. Steve, after helping himself to a beer from the fridge, joined Two-Bit on the carpet. Soda remained on the couch, his eyes floating around the room casually. Then he noticed that Johnny was gone… He hadn't noticed his friend slip out, and wondered if it had been when the wrestling started or when Darry came in cranky that Johnny had silently excused himself. Soda could feel the faint outlines of a frown form itself on his face. _I wonder if he'll ever be __**normal, **_he reflected.

Soda, not unlike his older brother, wasn't given to analysing his own emotions. He didn't often think about what he was _feeling, _and didn't bother much with thinking rationally and objectively about things. Soda was impulsive, he liked to fight when he got worked up, he liked to dance and joke around when he was happy, and when he wasn't one of those things he was probably asleep. It was also in his nature, however, to always want others to be happy. This was particularly true of those people whom he loved. If asked if he considered himself compassionate, Soda probably would have laughed. If asked if he considered himself sensitive, he would crack a joke or purposefully avoid the question. But the truth of the matter was that Soda was both. Seeing Johnny everyday brought out his compassion and sensitivity, but not the right words. It pained him to see his friend hurt and beaten down, and it frustrated him that he felt helpless to do anything to comfort him. Nevertheless, he rose from the couch and went in search of his friend.

Soda found Johnny on the front steps, sitting on the old swing Soda's dad had set up years ago. Johnny sat forward, his elbows on his knees, staring at something ahead of him.

Soda suddenly wished more than anything that Dally were there. Dally would know just what to say and do to snap Johnny out of this mental fog. But Dally was still in jail, and wouldn't be making an appearance.

"Hey Johnny," Soda grinned and collapsed on the swing next to his friend. "Whatcha doin' out here?"

"Nothing. Thinking." Johnny shrugged, but said no more.

"Aren't you excited about tomorrow night's party? I sure am." Soda began, but he knew that Johnny wasn't excited about it. Still, Johnny managed a semi-enthusiastic shrug. "You know, I was thinking, if we start saving now, then we could have a huge blow out when Dally gets released." That seemed to get Johnny's attention. He turned to look at Soda, his eyes wide and a half grin creeping onto his dark face.

"You think?" He said, sounding almost excited. Then, as quickly as the smile and joy appeared, it was gone again. "I guess that won't be for a while though." He turned back to staring at something.

"Not _that _long." Soda lightly punched Johnny's shoulder. He followed Johnny's eyes to the horizon, where the sun was setting over the roofs of the neighbourhood houses.

Soda opened his mouth to comment on the sunset, when both boys were distracted by the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house.

"Who the hell is that?" Soda wondered, seeing the white MGB pulling up. The passenger door opened and Cathy, Ponyboy's girl, stepped out. She brushed her charcoal hair over her shoulder and turned. Sitting in the driver's seat was a beautiful strawberry-blonde.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, I guess this'll be the last chapter I'm going to post for this story. It's not even close to being done, but I had already written this chapter twice and so I thought I would post it just in case there was someone out there who might enjoy it. It's pretty discouraging, because though a lot of people seem to have visited the story, I haven't gotten ANY reviews... which leads me to conclude that the story must be a) boring and b) mediocre in the extreme. I figured if it were terrible I would have heard about it, and if it were any good, I would have heard about it.**

**I'm not heartbroken or anything, because to be honest I feel pretty "meh" about the story too. I feel like I bit off more than I could chew trying to get every character down pat right from the start. Also, in focusing so much on getting the original characters right, I completely forgot about developing Ava. So what ended up happening was that I was writing this chapter, and I realized I felt nothing for Ava. Sure, I like some things about her. I'm not going to scrap her completely. I think I'm just going to redo her a bit, try to develop a personality, and maybe start the story from fresh. After I've done more thinking about who I want her to be. If/when I post again, you may notice some things either taken directly from this story or ideas used from it. I'm going to try to salvage what I can.**

**You might find this chapter different from the last two. I tried (in vain) to give Ava a bit of personality, but I just wasn't feeling it. Enjoy if you can, though.  
**

**I might as well ask for advice or constructive criticism from ANYONE out there, but I doubt it'll do any good. I'm a bit discouraged by the lack of reviews...**

**USUAL DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Outsiders.  
**

Ava pulled into a parking spot along the curb in front of a rough, somewhat dilapidated home. This was definitely the "bad" section of town, she noted. As she and Cathy had headed further East, she couldn't help but notice that the buildings were taking on a broken down façade.

To Ava it was apparent that those who lived in this area had substantially less money than her aunt and uncle, but it didn't disturb her in the least. Her own family back in Canada had substantially less money than her aunt and uncle, and there were plenty of people who had even less money than they had. She had also gone to school with many wealthy kids. In fact, her school and hometown were so small that all the poor and middle class and wealthy kids went together. It was also because of this small population, Ava figured, that they all hung out together, regardless of class. If a rich kid looked down his or her nose at everyone who had less money, than they were going to be pretty lonely, at least where she came from.

Ava could tell that throughout the drive Cathy was watching her out of the corner of her eye, trying to gage Ava's reaction to the impoverished circumstances surrounding them. She also heard when Cathy let out a poorly concealed sigh of relief, once she determined without a doubt that Ava wasn't going to start commenting on the poor. She seemed grateful, even, that Ava simply talked on about the math test and didn't mention the state of the houses in Cathy's and Ponyboy's neighbourhoods.

Now that they had arrived at Ponyboy's, Cathy felt more at ease. She actually felt that she didn't have to worry about Ava saying something condescending or embarrassing. Which was why she invited her in…

Cathy stepped out of the white MGB and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She turned to Ava and said:

"Why don't you come in? You could meet Ponyboy's brothers."

"Sure!" Ava smiled, hopping out of the car. She hooked arms with Cathy and they started up the steps toward the front door.

"Hey Cathy!" Soda called from the swing. Johnny tensed in the seat next to Soda, when he saw the two girls approaching. "What're you doing here?" It wasn't meant as an unfriendly question. In fact, Soda was relieved that his conversation with Johnny, if it could be called that, had been interrupted.

Cathy and Ava, who had reached the veranda, turned when they heard Soda's voice. When Ava first laid eyes on Sodapop, she could immediately feel a flush rising in her cheeks.

Standing up and coming toward them was a well-built youth, one who looked a lot like Ponyboy, but who's hair had a little less red. He was a bit taller than Ponyboy too, and had a real happy-go-lucky grin on his handsome face. He was wearing a DX gas station shirt, and, though it was open all the way, he wore a white sleeveless t-shirt on underneath. Ava couldn't help but notice that he was the handsomest boy she could ever remember seeing. He looked more like he belonged on a movie set than on her classmate's veranda.

Though she blushed when she saw Sodapop, it was when she saw Johnny that the breath seemed to catch in her chest. Still on the front porch swing sat a meek, dark boy. He looked about 16 outwardly, but the second Ava and his eyes' met, she could tell he was older than he appeared. His boyish features told youth, but the scar across his face, and the ones along his neck, just visible above the collar of his t-shirt, revealed more of a youth squandered in violence. His hair was darker than his eyes, if that were possible, and fell in long bangs near to his eyebrows. His skin was a dark tan, as well, and she wasn't sure if this were simply from being outside so much in the hot sun, or that he naturally had a dark complexion. She decided it was perhaps both. Despite his dark features, there was little beard showing on his youthful face, with its delicate nose and mouth, now slightly open

"Ponyboy," Cathy began pointedly "Left his take-home math test at school. If Ava weren't in the same class as he is, than he probably wouldn't have gotten it until tomorrow… if then."

Soda grinned and laughed at her words. "Yeah, that sounds like Pony." He pulled open the screen door and called into the house: "Ponyboy! Cathy's here to see you!". Then he turned back to the two girls. "Don't go in just yet. Darry'll be mad if he hears that you came by because Pony forgot his homework again."

Soda turned his attention to Ava now, smiling his handsomest, most charming grin. "I guess you must be Ava." He said, extending his hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Sodapop Curtis."

Ava smiled back and accepted his hand, while subtly trying to look over Soda's shoulder at Johnny. "Ava Lamont." She said. When Soda turned his head to see what she was looking at, Ava's free hand immediately went to her neck and shoulder, rubbing the muscles there. "Sorry, my necks a little sore today. I think I slept on it funny." It was no use though, Soda had already caught on and grinned at her slyly.

"Johnny!" He called, "Why don't you come over here and say hello?"

Ava took a deep breath to steady herself as Johnny rose from the swing and came toward them. _OK, Ava, _she thought, _try to be… charming._

"Hi!" She said, "I'm John- I'm Ava. You're Johnny, right?" She stuttered. She could feel warmth rising to her cheeks. _Charming, you idiot. Not a bumbling fool, _she chided herself.

"I'm Johnny Cade. It's real nice to meet you." He smiled a bit, and Ava's heart hit the inside of her ribs before diving into her stomach. Sodapop Curtis may be the handsomest boy she'd ever see, but Johnny Cade was the most beautiful.

Johnny extended his hand, and Ava stared at it dumbly. There was an awkward pause, when the door opened and Ponyboy appeared. Just as she realized she was being incredibly rude, Ava noted that the moment had passed and Johnny withdrew the polite gesture. Instead he shoved his fists deep into the pockets of his jean jacket, just as Ava's hand jerked toward the now empty space. His cheeks seemed to redden ever so slightly, so that if she hadn't been staring like a lovesick puppy, she might not have noticed.

"Hey, Cathy." Ponyboy smiled, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. Soda, Johnny and Ava all turned toward Ponyboy and Cathy. He looked over Cathy's should at Ava, a brief look of recognition passing over his face. "Do I know you?" He asked.

"Yeah, we're in math together. I sit behind you." Ava explained, acutely aware that Johnny was standing next to her now. _Oh God…_ she thought, still smiling, _I hope he doesn't think I don't want to touch him… _

"And it's a good thing she does." Cathy continued. "You dropped this today, and Ava picked it up for you." She handed him the logarithms assignment. Ponyboy looked at it, eyes wide.

"Gee! It must have fallen out of my text book. Thanks a lot. If I don't get some work done on this tonight, I definitely won't get it done for Monday." He smiled appreciatively at Ava, who wondered at her good fortune. How was it she had gone from not knowing anyone to being surrounded by the three best looking boys in Tulsa?

"I- it's, un, no problem." She said lamely, and forced a smile. Why was she apparently the only one who suddenly felt so uncomfortable? Everyone was staring at her now, too, she noted, so her discomfort was apparently obvious.

It struck her as strange, then, that only a few minutes ago she had been thinking about how relaxed she was, and now she was a babbling, sweating - was that sweat on the back of her neck? - mess. She cursed silently under her breath, but not silently enough it seemed.

"Huh?" Soda asked, leaning forward.

Ava stared. Did he just hear her swear? She stared at him for a moment, then feigned a weak cough.

"Nothing." She said, "Just a cough."

"I thought I heard you say-"

"Nothing. I didn't say anything. I just… coughed." She forced a smile again. The forced smiles were getting to be too much, she thought. "I cough… sometimes…. When the air is…. Dry."

"Oh." Soda looked a bit confused, but let it pass. She heard something then, coming from her left. Was it laughing? No, she decided, laughing was too strong a word. It was more of a snicker.

Everyone turned toward Johnny, who hid his grin behind his hand.

"You said shit." He looked at her with dancing eyes, and she was mesmerized for a moment.

"I didn't say sh - that word." She declared, hoping she could convince them. "I don't use language like that." _Not since I was 12 and my mother overheard… _

"Yes, you did. You said shit."

"No, Johnny. It was just a cough. The coughing is what's making her neck so sore." Sodapop explained, winking at Ava and grinning. There was no charming pink rush to her cheeks, she knew. Her face was red, plain and simple.

She honestly didn't know what to say. She was never this rude, or uncomfortable. Her full lips tightened into a thin line. Her whole body was tense, but when her eyes darted toward Johnny, and their gazes met, her throat tightened and her heart took another dive into her stomach. This was the most uncomfortable experience she had ever had, she decided.

"So, we have to go." Cathy announced to break the silence. "Ava is going to drive me to work."

"Right, well, better get going. Nice to meet you all. Let's go, Cathy!" Ava waved airily with one hand and grabbed Cathy's upper arm with the other. She thought she heard her friend say "ow" but ignored it and dragged her toward the stairs.

"Bye. See you tomorrow, Ponyboy." Cathy called, as she was man handled down the steps. Just as they were reaching the car, Ava heard her name and turned. Soda had come down the steps behind them.

"Ava, wait!" When he got nearer he grinned his charming grin again. "We're having a party tomorrow. For Johnny." He explained. Ava felt herself stiffen. "You should come. It'll be fun. Everyone'll be there."

"I, uh…" Ava stuttered. Her mind went blank, of course. She just stood with her mouth open, Cathy and Soda staring at her.

"Great, so you can come with Cathy. See you tomorrow!" He waved again and turned around, trotting back toward the house.

Ava hopped in the driver's seat and barely waited for Cathy to get the door closed before tearing off.

Sodapop smiled to himself as he took the front steps two-by-two. _Maybe I'm not good with words, _He thought, _But boy do I know girls._

**So, I hope someone enjoyed this bit. I'm going to ta****ke the story down in a few days and stuff it away on my harddrive somewhere. **_  
_


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, I got some very nice, generous reviews which encouraged me to write more. I think maybe other people saw more in it than I did, so I gave it a go. I've decided to go with a bit more comic relief in the next two chapters. But there's also some serious stuff too. And the "M" rated stuff is starting... though it's only bad words and "adult themes", not sexy scenes. Hahaha, sorry to anyone who might be disappointed!  
**

**I hope you enjoy and I really appreciate the remarks and reviews. To be perfectly honest, this chapter would not exist if it weren't for JohnnyCade4Ever, abc & christy. Wherever you guys are, thank you very much for your encouragement and kind words!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.  
**

As soon as they rounded the corner and were out of sight, Ava slammed on the brakes and turned the steering wheel sharply toward the curb. Cathy felt the thud as the rim hit made contact, and closed her eyes tightly, thanking God it wasn't her car. When she opened her eyes again it was at the sound of another thud. She turned to face Ava, only to see her pretty friend hitting her forehead against the steering wheel repeatedly.

"What are you doing?" Cathy cried, when Ava didn't stop.

"I. Am. Such. A. Dork." Ava declared, accenting each word with another steering-wheel-face-plant.

"Well stop that! You're going to hurt yourself." Cathy grabbed her friend by the shoulders and pulled her back from the steering wheel. Ava tilted her head back and stared at the roof of the car for a moment before speaking again.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me?" She asked finally, turning to face Cathy. Cathy was genuinely confused.

"Tell you _what?" _She asked, shrugging.

"About him! That guy! He was so…" Ava stopped and took a deep breath. "He was very… attractive." she said once she had regained some control.

"Oh!" Cathy nodded, believing she understood. _Of course. Soda… _Cathy smiled, but the smile faded and a sinking feeling entered her chest. Girls were always falling in love with Sodapop Curtis. _Somehow, I didn't think Ava would be interested in Soda…_ She thought.

"Yeah, a lot of girls like him. He's always got them hanging off of him." Cathy explained. Ava looked unhappy to hear this. Then a confused look crossed her face. If Johnny always had girls hanging off of him, why had Soda asked her to the party? She had thought he knew she was attracted to Johnny, and that's why he had brought it up.

"So, why do you think Soda invited me to the party?" She asked.

"I dunno. Maybe he likes you too." Cathy smiled and shrugged again. She motioned to the road. "I don't want to be rude, but can we go? I'm going to be late for work."

"Right. Of course. Sorry." Ava signalled and checked her blind spot before pulling back out onto the street.

"So?" Cathy said when her friend didn't speak.

"So what?" Ava asked, checking the rear-view mirror.

"Are you gonna go to the party?"

"You're kidding, right? As the entertainment?" Ava scoffed and slowed as the intersection light turned amber.

"No. Soda invited you himself. You should go."

"I'm not going to the party. And if you don't give me directions, I'm not going to be dropping you off at the right place, either."

Cathy was momentarily distracted by directing Ava to the hospital. Once they arrived, Ava insisted on getting detailed directions back to her side of town before letting Cathy out of the car. Once she hopped out and turned to close the door behind her, Cathy remembered that Ava hadn't given her a firm answer.

"So are you going, or not?"

"See you tomorrow in school." Ava grinned and waved, then hit the gas just enough to lurch the passenger door from Cathy's hand. She quickly hit the brakes and the door slammed shut. Cathy watched her drive off with a smile.

XXX

Ava sighed and closed her Shakespeare reader. She had managed to avoid Ponyboy Curtis throughout the entire day. First she had seen Cathy and him approaching her at her locker before classes started. But a quick slam of the locker door and a dash down the hall had helped her evade them. Next, she had walked into the lunch room, fully expecting _not _to see them, since they usually ate lunch together outside on the picnic tables. Today, however, they were both sitting at her usual table waiting for her. She had ducked out before they caught sight of her, though, and had enjoyed her meal as much as was possible from the girls toilets on the second floor.

The only drastic steps she had taken, and also the first time she had truly questioned why she was avoiding them so fervently, was when she had lied to Mr. Hackett, to avoid math class. If she hadn't been in the top five of the class, she was sure he would not have let her get off with the excuse: "I _really_ need to read the biography of Euclid. It's in the library and I know it'll help me with the logarithms assignment." Mr. Hackett hadn't asked what Euclid had to do with logarithms, or why one of his top students would need help in order to do it. He had just given her a strange glance and waved her toward the door.

Now, though, English class was over. The school day was over. She could just go home, work in the garden a bit, eat dinner with the family, watch _Bonanza! _and go to bed. And dream again tonight about Johnny Cade and her humiliation at the Curtis family home. She shuddered at the thought.

She pushed open the classroom door and stepped out into the hall. Cathy and Ponyboy were waiting for her.

"Why have you been avoiding me all day?" Cathy demanded immediately. Ava was taken aback.

"Uh…" She had to think quickly.

"Nevermind that." Cathy shook her head and waved her hand dismissively. "We need to know that you're coming tonight."

"Right, well, I was going to tell you -"

"Liar."

"OK, I wasn't going to tell you. But, anyway, I don't think I'm going."

"Why not?" Ponyboy asked, a bit perplexed. "Soda told me I had to get you to promise to come."

"Really?" Ava asked. What exactly, she wondered, was Sodapop Curtis's stake in arranging this meet up? Was he after a girl who was after Johnny?

"Yeah, he just told me it was important." Ponyboy shrugged. "Anyway, you can go with Cathy."

"Yes. Come by my house early. We'll get ready there and then head over to Ponyboy's." Cathy smiled. Ava knew she was out of excuses. In any case, her excuses really weren't very convincing.

"OK." She nodded. "I'll come by around 5."

XXX

Johnny watched with curiosity as Sodapop and Steve shoved each other playfully in the bathroom. Both were trying to get a better view of themselves in the mirror. When the shoving turned into a quick wrestling match, Darry came out of his bedroom to simmer things down.

"Knock it off, you two. If the bathroom isn't big enough for both your egos, then you'll just have to take turns."

Johnny tuned out the chorus of protests and the continued sounds of wrestling. He pondered momentarily why Soda and Steve always ended up in a scrap over the slightest things, but he dismissed the thought and settled with the comfortable knowledge that they were just like that.

He stood up from his seat in the corner of the living room and headed for the front door. The sun was beginning to set in the West, and though he didn't exactly know where he was going, he knew he needed to get out of the house.

Two-Bit had arrived only a few moments before the bathroom rumble had broken out, and he had started drinking from time earlier. He was half blitzed already but had declared loudly that he had every intention of getting even more drunk. Between his loud and shouting, Soda and Steve's antics, and Darry shouting, Johnny needed a break.

It had been a very bad day at work, he thought to himself as his feet carried him up the street. He had been sweeping out the back room of the drugstore when the front door bell sounded. He heard Frank get up from his desk and go the soda counter. It hadn't been long after that that Johnny heard raised voices.

"Where is he?" Someone had yelled angrily. Johnny had frozen, broom in hand. He had recognized the baritone immediately. It belonged to Jessy Hickock, the quarterback for the high school football team and captain of the Let's-Kill-Johnny-Cade platoon. Only two weeks earlier Jessy and two of his buddies had cornered Johnny after he had been leaving work. If Tim Shepard and one of his friends hadn't been there at the time, Johnny knew he would have suffered more than the verbal torments Jessy and party had slung at him. He shuddered now, at the thought of the words. In a way, they were almost worse than fists.

After Frank had gotten rid of Jessy and his buddies, he had come into the back room in search of Johnny. Frank's face had been a mixture of sympathy and annoyance. He opened his mouth, but before he spoke, Johnny knew what was coming.

"I'm sorry Johnny. But I just can't have this going on anymore. You… you can't work here anymore."

He swallowed hard to keep the tears back and watched as his feet took step after step in their dirty old white runners. He just didn't know what he was going to do.

When his feet stopped suddenly, almost of their own accord, Johnny looked up to see where he was. It shocked him to see his old house directly across the street. The living room was lit up, and Johnny could see the silhouette of his mother as she stood there, hurling abuses at some unseen man. The fight was really heating up and Johnny flinched when he heard his father's voice, screaming right back. So his father had returned again. Johnny couldn't count how many times his father had walked out on them, only to return a few days or even weeks later, waltzing in as though he had never been gone at all.

As he watched the two silhouettes battle it out, Johnny's vision became blurred. As the images blurred, he felt that the outline of his father altered slightly. He could see him, in his mind's eye, the tall, lean bully with a goatee and greased, black hair. Johnny ran his hand over his own chin, feeling the stubble pushing it's way through the skin. He ran his hand over his own greased locks, and remembered his mother's words: _I don't know why he calls me a whore so much. You two look so much alike it's like only one of us made you. _Johnny stared at the scene unfolding.

"You dumb slut." He muttered, speaking aloud the words he knew his father was yelling. "Don't call me a slut you asshole." She would yell back. It was the same almost every night. "You can't even get it up anymore, so what am I suppose to do but go lookin' for it someplace else? _Crack_." Right on queue. Johnny could see his father's hand come crashing down against his mother's face. The image was clear in his mind. His mother on the floor, cradling her bleeding nose. The man above her a small, meek 18 year old, with the beginnings of stubble on his chin.

Johnny shook himself. _No._ He thought. _I may not have a future. But no future is better than that. He knew then. He knew he needed a plan. He needed to get out. He needed relief. He was desperate for it. He turned quickly, his back to his old home and the violence taking place inside. The sun had already dipped below the horizon and the light remaining in the sky was weak. Night would be here soon. The party was starting soon. Purposefully and determinedly, he began heading back toward the Curtis residence_


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: hello appreciated readers. I hope you are all doing well and had a good weekend! I received a few very nice reviews, and I want to thank you very, very much for them. They all gave me a little thrill. I have also re-read them a few times to bask in th_e _praise, they mean that much to me. I also want to thank those of you who were kind enough to offer advise and answer some questions for me. I also greatly appreciate it, and I will do my best not to make Ava into a Mary Sue, and to try to keep Johnny as true to character as possible. As always, I welcome constructive criticism, debate or opinions. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. I went back and watched the movie again for more inspiration. I watched the "The Complete Novel" version, instead of the other one. I'm not sure I like it more, but I definitely enjoyed the extra scenes. The music was a bit weird. I only re-wrote this chapter once, because I wanted to get something out there for anyone interested. I really like _parts_ of it. I hope you enjoy it too. Thanks again and I look forward to your reviews! (PLEASE!)  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders  
**

Ava pretended to take another sip of her beer and looked around the room again. It was full of people. Happy people, laughing and having a good time, joking around. She wished that she knew any of them at all, or that they were even remotely interested in getting to know her.

When she had met Cathy at her house, she had made her friend promise not to leave her side throughout the entire evening. Cathy had agreed easily enough, but the second they walked in the door, Ponyboy had grabbed Cathy's hand and off she went. Sodapop had appeared momentarily to welcome her enthusiastically, shove a beer in her hands and then disappear to another room, where she could hear the sounds of girls giggling and laughing. That had been over an hour ago and she hadn't even seen a familiar face since then.

She meandered into the dinning room, and almost tripped as soon as she walked through the archway. There was a burly youth passed out on the floor, his hand still wrapped around a now empty bottle of beer. Ava tilted the face upward, and immediately recognized Two-Bit Matthews, the senior year class clown. She vaguely remembered Cathy mentioning that Two-Bit enjoyed brew a bit more than average, and now she understood. _Still, it 's only nine o'clock, _she thought, shaking her head.

Ava stepped back into the living room, wondering vaguely if she should look for Johnny. Wasn't that why Soda had wanted her there so much? Wasn't that really the reason she had agreed to come? Ava decided not to deny it to herself anymore. She was a terrible liar anyway, and not even she could believe her own lies anymore. She was interested in Johnny Cade. He was interesting to her. He was good looking. He seemed nice. She wanted to see him, and she wanted to get to know him better. What she didn't want, she decided, was for him to see _her._

She took another fake sip of the beer and felt a hard tap on her shoulder. Turning, she saw Cathy and Ponyboy standing there. Ponyboy had his arm over Cathy's shoulder and both of their hair looked dishevelled. Ava cocked an eyebrow at her friend.

"So where's Sodapop?" Cathy asked, craning her neck to look around the room.

"I think he's in the other room. With that guy Steve and a whole bunch of girls." Ava motioned toward one of the back rooms. "I guess Johnny must be with them…" She added.

"Nah, Johnny's not in there. I haven't seen him for a while." Ponyboy said. "He went out just before dusk and he hasn't come back yet, I guess. Strange, too. I don't remember the last time Johnny went out after dark without us."

"I warned you about Soda." Cathy said. "But I didn't think he would invite you and then just ditch you. I'm really surprised. I didn't think he was like that."

"What are you talking about?" Ava asked, confused. When had Cathy warned her about Sodapop Curtis?

"In the car. I told you he always had a bunch of girls hanging around him."

"You told me _Johnny_ always had a bunch of girls hanging around him." Ava clarified. Ponyboy spat out his mouthful of beer.

"_Johnny?_ Johnny Cade? A bunch of girls hanging around Johnny?" He couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't that he didn't think Johnny _could _have a bunch of girls, he told himself. Ponyboy looked through the doorway and into the room occupied by Soda and Steve and their entourage. He tried to imagine Johnny in Soda's place, laughing and joking around. He laughed again, but the laughter faded. He realized, suddenly, that he didn't remember the last time he had heard Johnny really laugh. Not a snicker or a smile, but an actual laugh. It suddenly wasn't so funny anymore.

"Yeah, isn't that what we were talking about in the car?" Ava's voice brought Ponyboy back to reality. "You were telling me that Johnny always has a bunch of girls hanging around him."

"God no! I thought you were talking about Sodapop." Cathy explained.

"Sodapop? What on earth made you think that?"

"Well, you said he was handsome."

"I said attractive."

"Same difference." Cathy shrugged. Ponyboy had been listening intently. Suddenly he understood.

"You like Johnny!" He nearly yelled. All heads turned in their direction. Ponyboy even noted that the laughter and giggling had died down in the next room. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Soda and Steve come to the doorway, wondering what the shouting was. He turned back to Ava, who was a very unattractive shade of purple.

"I don't _know_ Johnny." She hissed. Ponyboy stifled a laugh. Ava really did turn the most amazing shades when she was embarrassed. "Uh. I'm going to go get some air." She turned suddenly and marched out, the screen door closing with a bang behind her.

"Oops." Ponyboy shrugged.

Ava stood on the porch, arms crossed, taking deep breaths. The cool night air must do something to return her to her normal colouring, she hoped. _Why am I acting this way_? She asked herself, sitting on the top step and placing the full beer next to her. _Why am I so embarrassed at the idea of liking Johnny Cade? I've liked boys before. I've had boyfriends before. This is silly._ She told herself this over and over, then closed her eyes and called the image of Johnny's face back to her mind's eye. She could see him, standing next to her, a cheeky grin just visible behind his scarred hand, his dancing eyes laughing at her. _That's it_. She realized. _I like him, and he laughed at me._ She shook her head, as though to dismiss the image. But Johnny's face refused to go away. Only now she could see him sitting on the swing, bent over, staring at the sunset. She could see him turning to look at her, rising and coming toward her, extending his hand…

"Uh!" She nearly yelled, standing up and nearly jumping down the steps. She had to take her mind off of Johnny Cade.

The yard was relatively well lit from the street lights at the sidewalk. She looked around and noticed for the first time that there had once been a garden there. From the looks of some of the perennials still growing, someone had once put a lot of care and thought into this garden.

She walked over to take a closer look. The hydrangea bushes, the peonies, the rhododendrons and roses were all suffering from lack of care and were in desperate need of weeding. Still, they were alive and Ava was confident that with a little love and a lot of work, the garden could be restored to it's former glory. She started light, first snapping off dead branches here and there, then pulling out just the largest of the weeds. Within a few minutes, though, she was on her hands and knees in the dirt yanking at the more stubborn plants, ignorant and not caring of the state of her party clothes.

Ava loved gardening. It was the one thing she had missed the most during her prolonged illness. Weeding was also her favourite way of relieving tension, and she couldn't count the number of times, lonely and sad, she had gone to her garden for comfort and solace.

Breaking her from her reverie, she heard footsteps climbing the steps behind her, and turned. Johnny Cade had returned from wherever he had been, and was climbing the stairs to go in.

Ava panicked. He would see her if he just turned his head ever so slightly to the left. She looked around quickly, and without a second thought dove into the bush next to her. _Bad choice_ she thought as a cry past her lips. _Roses_.

Johnny might have past by, not noticing Ava at all. But her cry and the rustling from the rose bushes got his attention quickly enough. He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound.

"I-is someone there?" He asked, his eyes wide with fear.

_Don't answer. Don't answer. Don't answer._ Ava whispered the words like a mantra under her breath.

Johnny slowly descended the stairs and started toward the bushes, each step hesitant and worried. His hand instinctively moved toward his back pocket, feeling for the handle of the blade he kept hidden.

"Is someone there or not?" He called again, his voice shaking. Ava didn't even whisper now. She bit down on her mouth to keep from speaking, only to feel the blood rush in from the cut made by the thorns. She spit out a mouthful of blood instinctively.

Johnny saw the bushes shake a little more, heard a light curse and immediately relaxed. He let the blade slide back into his pocket and pushed the rose bush branches aside. There stood Ava, hand in her mouth, a bit of blood on her chin.

"What are you doing in the rose bushes?" He asked, surprised by the sight of her. The second he heard the mumble "Son-of-a-bitch" he had known it was Ava. Ava with blood on her face and running down her hand he had not expected to see. "Were you hiding?"

"No." Ava said defensively, releasing her hand from her mouth again. "I was… looking… at something."

"What were you looking at?" He asked, noting that it was actually pretty dark in the rose bush.

"I was… checking for… root rot." She explained, as though this were a perfectly normal thing to do at 10 o'clock at night on a Friday, when a party was raging in the house.

"Root rot." Johnny sounded confused. "What's root rot?"

"It's when the root of the plant… becomes soft and … rotten."

"Oh. What causes it?" He asked, still slightly confused.

Ava cleared her throat and tried to sound confident. "Lots of things. Overwatering…for one. Or if the soil has a lot of clay and can't release moisture." Johnny kicked at the dust under their feet. A cloud arose and drifted off in the light breeze.

"Huh." He said. "And uh, how can you tell if a plant has root rot?" He asked.

Ava cleared her throat again. "You can a few ways… when the leaves turn yellow, for one…" His eyes looked toward the buds only beginning to burst forth from the branches. "Or- " Ava continued desperately "You can also look at the roots."

"And you were just about to dig up this tree to see if it had root rot?" Johnny asked, still sounding somewhat confused. He may have been innocent, or even a little naïve, but Johnny wasn't stupid. Still, it was not in his nature to disbelieve someone, especially when that person clearly knew more about horticulture than he did.

"It's a bush, not a tree." She corrected. "And - hey, wait a minute. What are you even doing out here?"

"Huh? Oh, I just went for a walk." Johnny explained meekly, not offering any more information. "You know a lot about trees and bushes and stuff?"

"A little. Are you interested in them?"

"I never really noticed them before. But I guess they're kinda pretty." He nodded, taking a closer look at the garden for the first time.

"Why were you out for a walk? Isn't this supposed to be your party?" Ava asked, turning the subject back to him.

"I just…" Johnny let his voice trail off. He was suddenly remembering himself. His surprise at finding Ava in the bushes, as well as his general curiosity about plants and flowers, had caused him to lose himself in the moment. Once the conversation turned back to himself, his guard went up again and his nerves got the best of him.

"You just didn't want to be in there, either?" Ava smiled, moving past him out of the bushes. "I know what you mean." There was an awkward silence then. Johnny let the branch go and it fell back into place. Now fully visible under the street light, Ava became acutely aware of the state of her dress. Blood was running down her arm from the cut on her hand, and her knees and the hem of her skirt were covered in dust, to say nothing of her shoes.

Johnny still didn't say anything, but his gaze seem to be focusing anywhere but on Ava. She knew that at any minute he would politely find a way to get away from here. Suddenly, she took a deep breath and spoke again. She would _not_ lose this opportunity.

"It's not that I don't want to be here. I mean, I came to see you and congratulate you on finishing your probation - though I don't know what you were on probation for, now that I think about it. It's just, well, I thought you would actually _be_ here a bit more, and then you weren't and I don't know anyone but Cathy and Pony boy a little and they were… busy. So I just kinda stood around and watched other people get drunk." She took a breath, and when she saw Johnny open his mouth, she quickly continued, so as not to give him a chance to leave. "But now that you are here, well, I guess I'm having a better time. I mean, I did come to see you… though I guess I said that already. But I just wanted you to know. And I really like this garden, though it looks like no one's done any work on it for a while. Still, I think it would be a really nice garden with a bit of work. Are you interested in gardening? I guess I already asked you that, so you don't have to answer again. I'm interested in gardening, so if you want to learn I can teach you what I know. Though, you probably don't want to learn… Not that I think you're stupid or anything, just that why would you want to learn? And anyway, even if you did want to learn, why would you want to learn from me? You probably know lots of people who know everything about gardens and who could teach you more than I could." She had finally run out of things to say. Johnny was staring at her by now. She was surprised to see that he didn't seem quite as jittery as a few moments ago.

"I-I guess I'm -" He began, but she interrupted again.

"Interested? Great!" Ava smiled, her eyes lighting up with joy. "I can come over some times and we can work in this garden. Maybe we can fix it up a bit. Or you can come over to my house and we can work in my garden. Or I can just bring some flowers from my garden and we can transplant them into this garden - it's still early in the year. Who did this garden belong to, anyway?"

"Ponyboy's mother." Johnny replied.

"Oh." Ava was finally silent. Cathy had told her about Mr. & Mrs. Curtis' untimely and tragic death. "Maybe we should just leave it alone, then."

"I dunno." Johnny shrugged. "Maybe it'd be nice for Darry and Soda and Pony to see it all spruced up and pretty again." It was the most Johnny had said to her yet, granted she had purposefully been trying to prevent him from speaking. Ava smiled at his words, and a warmth soaked through her stomach and chest. Johnny still didn't look at her, and his nerves seemed to be returning.

"Well, I guess we'd better go in." He said after another moment's pause.

"Yeah, they're all probably eager to see you. And I guess I'd better get a band-aid for my hand." Ava smiled and motioned to the thorn cuts, now crusting over with dried blood.

As they walked toward the steps, Ava turned to Johnny and asked: "What were you on probation for, anyway?"

Johnny bit his lower lip and looked away, but not before Ava saw a wild, panicky look take over his face. He shoved his fists in his jean jacket, but she could see his hands shaking through the material. It didn't seem that he would answer, but before he even had the chance, the screen door opened with a creak and banged shut again.

"Johnnycakes!" Someone slurred from the top step. Both Johnny and Ava turned to see Two-Bit, who had apparently awoken from the kitchen floor, swaying above them, a beer clutched in each hand. "Here you are, and getting' a little action too! Wooo!"

Both Ava and Johnny turned beat red and avoided each other's gazes. Two-Bit yelled out even louder this time: "He's out here, everyone! And he's got some cute blonde with him! And by the looks of things, she was already on her knees tonight. Ahahahaha!"

The screen door blew open and a crowd of people, lead by Ponyboy and Cathy came out on the porch. Though after a moment Ava was sure they hadn't heard Two-Bit's last comment, she could tell by the heat in her face, and the looks being given her by Cathy, that something was suspected to have transpired between her and Johnny. She glanced at Johnny out of the corner of her eyes, but he had buried his face behind the raised collar of his jean jacket, and was heading up the stairs two at a time. As he approached the gathered crowd, people began to slap him on the back and yell various congratulations.

Cathy hopped down the steps toward Ava.

"What were you doing out here with Johnny all this time? And why are you - filthy? Nevermind, you can tell me in the car. We have to get going if we're going to make curfew. Here's your coat."

Ava fished her car keys from the pocket of her jacket and headed toward the door, Two-Bit's comments still ringing in her ears. And yet, she was not as humiliated as she thought she would be. Somehow, it didn't bother her that people might think she and Johnny had hooked up, though she wasn't sure she liked the idea that they though she was the kind of girl who - she shuddered at the thought. At least, she didn't want them thinking she would do that to someone she had only just met... In any case, she had actually had a real conversation with Johnny Cade, and had even made tentative plans to see him again. That, at least for now, seem to make up for Two-Bit's crass comment.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So this is just a short one. It's kind of depressing too, I guess. I really felt I had to just go all the way, because I've got to make stuff start happening in this story. As I read more of other people's work, I can't help but feel that my story is lacking any action. And I'm wondering if this isn't one of the reasons why I'm getting so few reviews? Don't get me wrong, I REALLY appreciate the reviews I am getting. I'm incredibly thankful tha**t **anyone takes the time to read my story and bother to post a review.**

**Anyway, I'm rambling. I just wanted to let you know that stuff is definitely going to start happening after this. I'm still kinda stuck on any more of a sub-plot though. So if anyone has any suggestions I would be extremely grateful!**

**DISCLAIMER: I know what you're thinking and you're right. S.E. Hinton owns "The Outsiders" - not me.  
**

As Johnny slinked up the steps, his heart beat heavily in his chest. He couldn't even resent Two-Bit's comments, as he was still too embarrassed. It wasn't until after he was seated in his favourite corner chair, watching the party go on around him, that the humiliation really set in. It was only exacerbated when Steve and Two-Bit, each taking an arm of Johnny's chair, started fishing for details.

"So, how was she? How far did you two go, anyway?" Two-Bit slurred, while Steve howled with laughter. Johnny didn't answer but stared straight ahead, trying desperately to ignore them.

"Wow Johnny, I'm glad you finally got over that conversation we had a few years back. I thought I'd scared you into abstinence or something." Steve cracked up. Evie had come to stand next to Steve and he slipped his arm around her waist.

"She's real sweet, Johnny. And pretty too." Evie grinned.

Johnny didn't say anything. He couldn't. The whole thing was just too humiliating for words. Did they really believe that he and Ava…? He couldn't think of it. Anyway, why did everyone assume that Ava would want to do that with him? Surely they also recognized she was so out of his league it might as well have been a different sport.

"Why you so quiet, Johnnycake?" Two-Bit nudged his friend. "Christ, you look scareder than usual too. What'd she do? Bite down?" Two-Bit started laughing so hard he fell off the arm chair and lay in a convulsing heap on the floor.

"Come on, Johnny. Let's get to bed. Soda's got some girl stayin' over tonight so we're bunking together." Ponyboy, at this last comment and the stricken look on Johnny's face, decided enough was enough.

"Hey now! The guest of honour can't leave this early!" Steve cried after them, though they noticed that his were false objections, as he soon after lost himself in Evie's cleavage.

When Ponyboy and Johnny were alone in Johnny's room, Ponyboy closed the door and locked it. He watched Johnny's slumped over figure from the corner of his eye while he undressed. Johnny certainly looked worse than he had earlier in the evening, and Ponyboy wondered if these parties in Johnny's honour didn't do him more harm than good.

"So what did happen between you and Ava anyway?" Pony asked once the silence became too much. Johnny started and turn his head, looking over his left shoulder toward Ponyboy.

"Huh? Nothin'. We were just talking." he shrugged.

"She sure was dirty for just talkin'." Ponyboy couldn't help but grin a bit.

"It's nothing', Pony. Before I came along she'd been working in your mother's garden. She was looking for root rot." Johnny explained innocently.

"For _what_?" Ponyboy asked incredulously.

"Root rot. It's when there's too much moisture - either because of overwatering or too much clay in the soil. And the roots rot out and the plant dies. She was looking at the rose bushes for root rot. That's why she was so muddy."

"Huh." Ponyboy didn't know the last time anyone had watered that garden, and he knew for a fact that there was no clay in the soil in his yard, from his many attempts to dig to China through his formative years. "Johnny, I don't think -"

"It was actually kinda interesting." Johnny interrupted without realizing. Ponyboy held his tongue. It was so seldom that Johnny spoke voluntarily that Ponyboy had to know what his friend was going to say.

"The way she talked about flowers and stuff."

"Did anything else happen?" Ponyboy asked when Johnny didn't continue.

"We're going to be working on this garden for a bit, if you think that'll be OK. I know it was your mom's garden…"

"Sure!" Ponyboy agreed eagerly. He had undressed down to his t-shirt and boxers and climbed into bed. "So, you two have a date or something?" He yawned, feigning lack of interest. Actually, his ears were straining in anticipation of Johnny's next words.

"A what? No, no." Johnny shook his head and his leg jerked nervously. He didn't need to say it, but Ponyboy knew what Johnny was thinking. Steve's speech would be running through his mind. But there was more than that. Ponyboy understood that Johnny still didn't believe that he was worthy of anyone's affections, let alone a pretty rich girl's.

"She likes you, you know." He said, breaking the silence again. Johnny turned to face his friend, but said nothing. "I know, because she told me herself. And Cathy told me the only reason she came was so she could see you."

Johnny scoffed. _Fat chance_. He thought. What would a girl like _that_, a beautiful blonde soc from the other side of town see in an unemployed, family-less drop-out murderer like himself? Suddenly he remembered what he'd been thinking about when he had returned home.

Ava's presence had temporarily distracted him, but the day's events came flooding back now, hitting him harder than earlier. He was unemployed.

Johnny bent his head and placed his face in his hands. Tears welled up in his eyes. He felt so completely lost. He had lost his job at the drug store, the one thing he had at the moment to sustain him. Without that job, he wouldn't be able to pay Darry for his room and board. He would have to leave the Curtis home, and since he just couldn't go back to his own home, he would have no where to go.

He thought briefly about getting another job, but who would hire him? With his bad back and lack of education, he'd be lucky to get any work at all, and even if he did, Bob Sheldon's friends would find out where he was working - they always did - harass him and his boss until he got fired again.

There was no escape. There was no where to turn. He had no skills. He had no resources. He was out of options.

"Johnny, Johnny!" He heard Ponyboy's voice and felt his friend's hands shaking him frantically. He suddenly realized he was sobbing uncontrollably. "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know what to do, Ponyboy." He choked. "I got fired from the drugstore today, 'cause Jessy Hickock and his friends came by again and my boss just couldn't take it anymore. I just don't know what I'm going to do…" He sobbed again. "How am I gonna pay Darry for letting me stay here if I can't work? How can I work when I don't got no education?" He tried to gain control of himself, but at times like these he just felt so alone…

"Don't you worry about that Johnny. Darry'll let you stay here as long as you need to. He'll understand why you lost your job. And you'll get another one…"

"You don't understand, Pony. I don't want to live on your brother's charity. I don't want to live on nobody's charity. It ain't fair for Darry and Soda to have to support me too. I can't ask them to. But I just don't know what I'm going to do for another job."

"Maybe you could come back to school?" Ponyboy suggested hopefully. "If you were in school, then you couldn't work. And Darry and Soda'd understand and it wouldn't be like charity 'cause you could pay them back once you graduated and got a really good job."

"Pony, I ain't never goin' back there." Johnny whispered. He still remembered how horrible it had been, once he had returned to school after the trial. He'd been beaten up nearly everyday by the soc's. It had gotten so bad that Two-Bit and Ponyboy had to escort him from class to class. While the beatings were bad, it was the whispering which had made it truly unbearable. The way the girls looked at him with frightened eyes and muttered behind their hands when he walked by. The way the teachers looked at him with suspicious and frightened eyes, as though he would take out a knife and attack anyone without hesitation. It was the graffiti written across his locker in red paint: "Murderer". Johnny knew he would never set foot in that school again.

Perhaps it was something in his tone of voice, but Ponyboy knew that there was no use in trying to convince Johnny to return to school. The truth was, he didn't know what Johnny could do. But he felt that his friend was dangerously close to doing something drastic.

"Ponyboy… you remember when I was sick in the hospital?" Johnny broke the silence once again. Ponyboy made a noise to show he was listening. "When I said that… 16 years wasn't going to be long enough? That there were some many things I'd never done, things I'd never seen…" Ponyway waited with baited breath for his friend to continue. Johnny breath was shallow and quick. "Well, I guess I just don't see much point in goin' on, anymore Ponyboy. I ain't never goin' to see the things I dream of. I ain't never going to have a good life, with a good job. It's just not in the cards for me, I guess. Sometimes, I just wish I had died right there on that bed, thinking it was unfair because life held more. I wish I had died there, rather than go on living like this, knowing there is more but I'll never get to experience it."

Ponyboy bolted upright, his arms wrapping tightly around his friend's shaking shoulders.

"_Don't_ say that, Johnny. _Don't."_

Johnny didn't say it again. But Ponyboy could tell, by the silence and stillness Johnny kept as he undressed and got into bed, that his friend was still thinking it.

**REVIEW PLEASE! Seriously. Please review. Please.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So, here's yet another chapter in the Ava/Johnny saga. I'm a bit proud of this chapter. I wrote it through once, and I haven't even re-written any of it, or editted it for "cheese" as I usually do. I hope it's not too melodramatic, but though I didn't edit it, I did try to tone it down a bit.**

**As usual, thanks to those of you who review! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. It's really kept me going. I can honestly say that the last few chapters wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for those of you who review.**

**It has been suggested, rightly so, that I should give this story a title. I completely agree with this suggestion, but feel the need to tell you that I've actually be struggling to come up with a title since the first chapter was posted. I don't know how you guys all do it. I read through other people's fan fic almost daily, and everyone else seems to have great titles. But I just can't seem to come up with something half decent. I'm kinda stuck on "Salvation" - but I think that's a bit much... Any thoughts? Suggestions would be VERY much appreciated as always.**

**So, without further ado, I present chapter 7 of the tentatively titled piece "Salvation". Preceeded, of course, by the usual disclaimer.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS  
**

Ava pulled up outside the Curtis family home and started to unload the flowers and other gardening tools from the trunk of her white MGB. Despite the fact that she was going to be seeing Johnny any minute now, she did not have her usual grin, nor did she experience the tight stomach and nervous energy as she had over the past few weeks.

She and Johnny had been meeting several times a week for the last month at the Curtis home to work in the garden. Often the only conversation they had was sparse, or would involve only talk of flowers or vegetables and the best way to start and maintain a garden. In fact, upon reflection, Ava realized that she really hadn't learned anything new about Johnny throughout their meetings. At least, she hadn't learned any facts. She still didn't know where Johnny's mother or father were, or if he had any brothers or sisters, or what his favourite movie was, or what he planned to do with his life. Though all the facts were missing, the essentials were there. She knew now, not just suspected anymore, that Johnny Cade was gentle, soft-spoken, and polite. He was also keenly interested in gardening, as evidenced by the fact that he continually made their afternoon meetings, despite his original reservations. In fact, Johnny seemed to be more relaxed around her than he had originally been. Ava couldn't fool herself into thinking that he trusted her, or would open up to her, but he didn't jump at the sound of her voice, and didn't move away suddenly when she would kneel down in the dirt next to him.

Ava had been feeling very good about the development of their friendship. She felt that soon she would be able to ask Johnny more personal questions, and not expect to see the wild, panicked look in his eyes. So confident had she been, that she decided she would stop by the drugstore where he worked to pick him up and drive him back to the Curtis home where they were scheduled to meet for more gardening.

She had walked in feeling confident and attractive in her new yellow blouse and white slacks. She knew she looked good, especially with her blond hair pulled back into a high pony-tail, and her makeup done. She had felt rather silly getting `dolled` up as her Uncle Will called it, considering she would be working in the garden throughout the afternoon. But somehow she had hoped that her appearance would please Johnny. Maybe even entice him into asking her to the Nightly Double on Saturday.

When she had seated herself at the soda counter, she promptly asked the attendant if Johnny Cade were available, which was when she was informed that he no longer worked there.

Throughout the short drive from the drugstore to the Curtis family residence, Ava had felt - there was no better word for it - betrayed. Why hadn`t Johnny told her he had gotten fired from the drugstore? She knew she had no right to feel this way. She knew it was none of her business where Johnny worked, or how he got on with his employers. But even still, she could not shake the feeling, and it weighed heavily on her now.

She had finished unloading the car and was starting to carry the large compost bags to the garden when the door swung open and Ponyboy appeared. He started down the steps to help her.

"Hey," He smiled, taking the large bag from her arms. "You and Johnny going to work on the garden some more?"

"Yeah." Ava nodded.

Ponyboy looked at her quizzically. "Somethin' wrong? You're usually more... Excited."

Ava turned from where she was picking up her spades and gardening gloves. "Did you know Johnny got fired from the drugstore?" She asked suddenly.

Ponyboy shrugged. "Yeah, he told me about a month ago. The day it happened. Why? Didn't you know?"

"No." Ava shook her head. "He didn't tell me."

Ponyboy shrugged again. He felt a bit uncomfortable. Ava was clearly distressed by Johnny's closed mouth, and he wasn't sure what to say to make her feel better.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it." He assured her. "Johnny doesn't say much to anyone. It's nothing personal."

"But it _is_ personal." Ava argued. "I just don't know what to say or do anymore, Ponyboy."

"Say or do what?"

"Say or do to make him notice me." Ava sighed, sitting against her car, crossing her arms in frustration. Ponyboy remained quiet.

"He does like you." He said finally, once the silence became too much. "He's just… he's nervous. And he doesn't know much about girls… " _And he can't understand why you want to be with him so badly. He doesn't see in himself what we see in him, _Ponyboy thought, but couldn't say it aloud. He didn't have to. Ava had looked up, and when their eyes met, Ponyboy knew she understood.

After a few moments of silence, Ava spoke again: "Has he found a new job yet?"

"No. He's been looking but no one will hire him."

"Why not?" Ava cocked her head again, and immediately straightened it.

"Because of his record and all that stuff with… with the soc."

"Huh?" Ava looked confused. "Is this to do with why he was on probation? I keep forgetting to ask him about that. What happened, anyway?"

Ponyboy felt the heat rise to his face, and his breath became short.

"I think you might want to ask him that yourself. I think maybe he should tell you." He said at last.

Ava shrugged. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll just volunteer it one of these days." she added sarcastically.

_You don't know how right you are, _Ponyboy thought again.

They finished moving the rest of the compost bags to the garden just as Johnny came up the street, accompanied by Two-Bit. Lately, since Johnny had become unemployed, Two-Bit had stopped showing up at school and instead spent his time hanging out with Johnny throughout the day.

"Hey you two! How's life as upstanding, productive citizens?" Two-Bit grinned and waved as they approached. Johnny, hunched over with fists in his pockets, face slightly hidden behind the raised collar of his jean jacket, let his eyes dart nervously from side to side. He did not call out a greeting.

"Just fine, Two-Bit. What were you two up to?" Ponyboy and Two-Bit's conversation trailed off as Ponyboy led his friend up the stairs and into the house. Johnny stood nervously in front of Ava, but she saw a half smile creep up the side of his handsome face and immediately all thoughts of betrayal flew from her mind. Instead, her face lit up and she smiled enthusiastically.

"Hey Johnny. You want to get started?" She asked, handing him his work gloves and pair of shears. He nodded and took them from her gingerly.

They worked side by side, the silence broken only when Ava gave some short direction as to how Johnny should prune the bushes. Finally Ava couldn't take it anymore. The curiosity over Johnny's sudden unemployment became too much for her, and she broke.

"I went by the drugstore today to see if you wanted a ride home." She stated matter-of-factly, without looking at him directly. She saw, from the corner of her eye however, his consistent snipping falter at her words. Johnny seemed to hunch down a bit more, but at first said nothing. Ava added nothing more, and finally Johnny spoke.

"I don't work there anymore." He said quietly.

"Yeah, that's what the man said. He said you had to leave because some guys kept showing up and harassing you and the other patrons and employees. Do you have another job yet?" She asked, still not looking at him directly. She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear Johnny speak.

"No." He said simply, still snipping.

"Well, this might be good then." Ava continued evenly. "Did I tell you that my Aunt Eileen, the one who I live here with, owns a nursery? My Uncle Will bought it for her when they first got married and she moved down here, five years ago. She didn't know anyone, and Uncle Will didn't want her to be lonely. Everyone in my family are all gardeners, so he bought her this little business to keep her happy and occupied."

Johnny said nothing, but she knew he was listening. Ava actually found Johnny to be a very good listener, even when she knew she was being boring. He always paid attention to her when she spoke, and sometimes even asked her questions. Still he never voluntarily started a conversation.

"Anyway, " Ava continued. "Eileen has been looking for help lately. She says she can't find anyone who she wants to hire. She needs someone who can do some physical labour - just carrying the compost bags and maybe some of the larger pots for the peonies or small fruit trees - but who knows enough about gardening to also maintain the beds and potted plants in the greenhouse. I would have mentioned it to you a few weeks ago, but I thought you already had a job."

Ava stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Johnny squarely now. He could be very difficult to read at times. Now was one of those times.

Johnny listened to Ava's words with growing enthusiasm. He instantly pictured himself in a nursery, watering the plants, weeding the beds, carry bags of compost on his shoulders out to customer's cars, ringing in the purchases at the counter. It all sounded perfect.

He had truly grown to love gardening over the last month. What with everything going on in his life, it gave him solace and a sense of purpose. But there was more than that. Until he had met Ava, the most beautiful thing he could imagine were the clouds and the sunsets, but now he saw more. Everyday he revelled in the splendour of an early rose's bud, got drunk on the heavy scent of cherry and apple blossoms. He had always know there was still beauty in the world and this old garden of Mrs Curtis's brought to his fingertips the grace of the clouds, the many hues of a sunset. And he had helped create it all. If it weren't for his efforts, trimming and clipping, hoeing and weeding, the buds would not be so heavy or iridescent, the bees not humming so contentedly, the birds not singing so sweetly. He had a hand in creating it all.

And it could be that way. He could feel that way, everyday.

But as high as he flew in those few moments, Johnny came crashing downward as reality struck him once more. It wouldn't be. It couldn't be. Things like that didn't happen to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and fought the tears in his eyes.

"Johnny?" Johnny suddenly felt ahand laid gently on his shoulder. He turned around quickly, shocked out of his reverie. His hands shook and he had a hard time catching his breath from the surprise. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you. You just seemed a million miles away…" Ava was clearly distressed over the anxiety she had brought on him.

Johnny shook his head quickly, the only method he had to assuage her discomfort.

"It's OK." He said, stepping back a bit. Ava didn't move, clearly expecting something. It took a moment for Johnny to realize she was waiting for him to speak about the nursery position.

"I-I can't." He said simply. Ava didn't look angry, or hurt, merely confused.

"Why not? Does the type of work not appeal to you?"

"No, it isn't that." Johnny felt uncomfortable again. He knew there was no way he could escape this conversation, though he wished fervently that Ponyboy or Two-Bit would come out. He knew it wouldn't happen, as Two-Bit consistently joked that everyone should leave Ava and him alone while they were together.

Johnny looked back at Ava. She stared, waiting expectantly. He looked, for the first time, at her face, studying it in detail. Her eyes were more blue than he had ever seen on a girl. He had seen lots of people with blue eyes, but her's were a darker, deeper blue than most. Her wheat coloured hair was pulled back in a ponytail, though a few wisps and locks escaped, curling about the pale skin of her ears, neck, and bouncing at the sides of her face. Her nose was longer than many, perhaps, but delicately tapered, turning up slightly toward the tip. Just below it was her mouth, with full, rose-bud lips. Johnny sighed inwardly. For the first time he noticed how beautiful she was.

"I don't want anyone's charity." He explained, still staring at her. He did not do it out of confidence, or defiance, but simply because now that he had noticed how striking she was, he simply didn't want to look away.

"It isn't charity." she smiled, shaking her head. She smiled. Johnny felt a strange lump rise in his throat. "Charity is when someone gives you something for nothing. Or for pity. This is business, it's a job. It's the opposite of charity. You would be working and she would pay you."

"It would…" He started, but had to stop to clear his throat. "It would still feel like charity, because I'd only be getting the job because of you."

"If that's the way you feel about it, we just won't tell her we know each other." Ava shrugged, turning back to the patch she'd been weeding. "You can just go there and ask about a job, show off how much you've learned about gardening, and then she'll just hire you because you're the right person. We'll tell her you're my friend afterwards."

Friend. Were they friends? Johnny wasn't entirely sure. He didn't have many friends, and the friends he did have had been his friends so long he couldn't remember a time when they weren't in his life. No one wanted to be his friend now. Usually people hated Johnny either on principle because he was a greaser or as soon as they heard the name "Johnny Cade", in either case they hated him before they even got to know him. But here was Ava Lamont; beautiful, rich, smart Ava Lamont. And she was his friend.

Johnny nodded and forced himself to return to pruning.

"OK." He spoke at last. _I promised myself I would take any job. I'll just remind myself that this is just another job. It's not the end of the world if I don't get it. But I've got to try._

**REVIEW PLEASE! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! ALSO, I WOULD BE ESPECIALLY THANKFUL FOR ANY CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So, I actually wrote two versions of this chapter and I'll tell you why. First, I didn't really like the first version. I actually wrote it few days ago, but sat on it for a while thinking about why I didn't like it, and how I would change it. I didn't have any answers to either question.**

**I was reading through other fan fic today, and when I read through fanfic, after I've read the chapter/story, and post my review (I always try to review), I started reading some of the other reviews which had been posted. I read one, and I really liked the way the person had expressed their thoughts, so I went digging for some of their stories and came upon their profile. I started reading it, and the more I read it the more I realized how much I disliked this person. I mean, I don't even know them, but man, the things they wrote about themselves on their profile made me really annoyed/angry. A lot of the ideas they expressed were so opposite my own opinions that I just got all worked up in my mind and found myself dismissing them and thinking they were ignorant and stupid. Well, I didn't bother reading any of their work, I can assure you. Instead, I got up and got a cup of tea and started thinking about what I had read. And I realized, that this person wasn't the ignorant one. I was. I was the one who was being intolerant. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I have to like what the person wrote. I don't have to agree with them. But I'm the one who read their stuff, they didn't force it on me. And I do talk a lot about wanting other people's perspectives on my writing, and isn't this kind of what the person was doing? Giving their perspective - not on my personal writing - but on different stories and writers on this website? Well, apparently I'm not as tolerant as I thought I was. But I feel better for the self-reflection. I still think I'm a pretty accepting and tolerant person, just that I'm not as accepting or tolerant as I had imagined myself.  
**

**This was when I realized what was wrong with the first version of the chapter I wrote. Ava was reacting, but she wasn't reflecting. ****Characters, like real people, need to reflect on their actions or the actions of others in order to learn and grow.**** It may have been effective character revelation, but it wasn't effective character development. And I wasn't OK with that. So I re-wrote it. I don't love the way it came out, but I think it's better than it was. I'm not sure I'm a good enough writer to get it how I really want it, like how it is in my head. But practice makes perfect!**

**On another note, I just want to mention something else. One of my loyal readers mentioned that they don't know why I'm not getting as many reviews as I hoped. Well, I don't know why either. But I've done some reflecting on that too. And you know what? I'm OK with it. Not everyone is going to like my story. It doesn't matter if it is the greatest thing ever written (which I'm well aware it is not. By a long shot), what matters is that some people like it. And those people have been reviewing it, and it's enough for me, because they are awesome and I have read much of their work and respect and appreciate them. So thank you, again, to all of you who do review, and to those that don't, well... I hope you get something from it anyway.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Outsiders...  
**

Ava sank her fork into the asparagus spears and brought the vegetable to her mouth, chomping down on the crisp stock. Asparagus was her favourite, she pondered happily as she tucked into a second spear.

Uncle Will had gotten home from the office in time for dinner that day, which was a surprise and a treat rolled into one. Off the top of her head, Ava couldn't remember the last time he had been able to eat with Eileen and her. He always seemed to be working late on one case or another. Still, she didn't complain. Though she loved her uncle and missed him when he wasn't around, she also recognized that his work was very important to him, and respected that.

In any case, she always had Aunt Eileen. Eileen always made a point of being home to cook dinner for the family. Will had tried on several occasions to convince her to hire a chef, but Eileen had refused, scandalized at the suggestion.

"I didn't marry you and come all this way from home just to be waited on hand and foot like the Queen of England." She had declared.

"I just want to take care of you." Will had slipped his arms about her waist and placed a loving peck on her rosy cheek. Eileen blushed. Though Eileen was in her forties and Will in his fifties, Ava often felt they still acted like love-sick teenagers. It made sense in some respects, however, since they had only been married 4 years.

Ava looked down the table to her aunt, who was enjoying the meal she had prepared for her husband and niece with a deserved sense of accomplishment. Ava smirked to herself as her eyes turned to Will, who was devouring the meal as though it were to be his last.

"I didn't tell you, Will." Eileen spoke up suddenly. Her husbands' eyes darted up at the sound of her voice, but he did not stop eating. "I hired someone to take over Gerard's position at the nursery."

Ava's breath caught in her throat, and she quickly took a sip of water to hide her excitement.

"'Bout time." Will offered between bites. "How long has it been since Gerard left, anyway?"

"Only 3 months. Still, it seems like forever. We've been completely lost without him. I have high hopes for this boy, though. Actually, he comes from your old neighbourhood."

"Really?" Will dropped his fork with clang. "The old neighbourhood, huh?"

"Yes. But I didn't hire him because of that. When I took him on a tour of the greenhouse, he noticed that some of the roses weren't blooming and told me I should bury some banana peels at their base, as the potassium in the peels would help the roses. That's an old family secret of ours, isn't Ava?"

Both Eileen and Will turned to look at their niece, who was still drinking water slowly from the glass. When she showed no signs of stopping, Will turned back to his wife.

"So what is the boy's name, anyway?"

"John Cade." Will's fork clanged against his plate again.

"Johnny Cade?" He seemed shocked. Ava put her glass down and stared at her uncle quizzically.

"Do you know his father or something?" she asked, thinking it strange that her fifty-something year old uncle would know of 18 year old Johnny Cade, even if they were from the same neighbourhood.

"No, but I know the name of course. Eileen, don't you remember the story in the papers a few years back? Robert Lydecker from the firm represented Johnny Cade in the manslaughter trial. He's the one who killed the Valance girl's boyfriend, Bob Sheldon."

Ava's heart stopped. Killed? Manslaughter? Johnny had killed a boy?

"Oh! Is he the one?" Eileen seemed completely nonplussed and continued eating her pork roast without hesitation. "Hm. That would explain the scarring. He had scars all over his hands, and some on his face and up his neck. I was a bit disturbed by it. But now that seems to be cleared up."

"What do you mean, exactly, Uncle Will?" Ava could hear her own voice, but it sounded as though it were coming from someone else, someone far away.

"Well, about two years ago - or was it three? Hard to remember now. It wasn't long after the wedding, though, that young Johnny Cade and his friend with the strange name… something to do with a horse-"

"Ponyboy Curtis?" Ava volunteered.

"Yes, that's it. They were walking through a park late at night, and they were attacked by Bob Sheldon and some of his friends. It had something to do with Cherry, actually. You know Cherry, don't you Ava? I know she's a bit older than you but the Valances live just two doors down."

"Yes, I've met her once or twice." Ava nodded.

"Anyway, there was some hubbub, something to do with girls, and Bob and his friends attacked the Curtis boy. Tried to drown him in the fountain, if I recall. And this Johnny Cade pulled out a knife and stabbed and killed Bob Sheldon, to save his friend." Will took another mouthful of his pork roast and made a face to show he was savouring it, while Ava sweated in her seat, her hand grasped tightly around her glass.

"How did he get the scars?" Eileen queried, clearly not remembering the story.

"It was the fire," Will explained once he had swallowed. "He and the Curtis boy were hiding out in some old building, and while they were away with another young fellow, a Sunday school class came up for a picnic. Some of the younger children were playing in the barn and a fire started. The barn went up in flame very quickly. Just at that moment, Johnny Cade and Ponyboy Curtis and the third young man came back. The three of them rushed into the burning building and saved all the children. But Johnny… it was very bad. The roof came down on him. He was severely injured before his friend pulled him out. He was burned quite badly and his back was broken. They thought he'd never walk again. Well, they thought he would die, actually, but when he didn't die, they thought he'd never walk again. Now he walks again, but he'll carry those scars forever. Poor boy. I'm glad you saw fit to hire him, Eileen."

"Well, I didn't remember any of that when I was interviewing him. I just thought he seemed like a nice enough young man, though very shy and nervous. He was quite enthusiastic, too." Eileen shrugged.

Ava said nothing. She knew somewhere she should tell Eileen and Will about her friendship with Johnny, reveal to them that she had been the one to set up the interview. But she couldn't. She could feel the blood run out of her face, and her throat closed up tightly, making it hard for her to breath. Tears welled in her eyes, but she managed to hold them back long enough to excuse herself from the table. Eileen and Will gave her worried parting looks, which were completely lost to her.

Ava's feet carried her mechanically to the back yard and out into her garden. She sat down amongst the budding flowers and looked up at the sky. It was a clear fifteen minutes before she was aware that tears were rolling down her cheeks in rivers.

_Johnny killed someone. I never would have believed it possible. Not Johnny. Anyone but Johnny. _It all made sense though. The scars, the nervousness, the probation. Will hadn't elaborated on the trial, but she felt certain based on the story she had heard that he had been let off with probation, because of his sacrifice at the church, as well as the fact that he had been trying to save his friend's life. Either one of the events she had just heard would have been shocking to hear, but to hear both. To think that her poor Johnny had been a victim of all that. To think that she had been prattling on to him all this time in the garden, and he had never said a word. To think him _capable_ of killing someone else. She couldn't imagine. She could not reconcile that Johnny, the Johnny who had killed Bob Sheldon, with the Johnny with soft brown eyes and fists jammed in his jean jacket. It didn't seem _possible_. But it wasn't only possible, it was fact.

Ava had figured, before hearing the story, that Johnny had been through some traumatic event. The scars and the nervous demeanour made that abundantly clear. But she had never given it much thought. No one had ever said anything, at least not to her, and she had brushed it off., assumed it were some sort of accident which had scarred him.

Johnny had always seemed such a shy, gentle, nervous person. But clearly there was more to him than that. Johnny had killed a boy, to save his friend. Johnny had risked his own life to save small children. Johnny, not once but twice, had been willing to sacrifice all to help others. Johnny, quiet, gentle Johnny Cade, was courageous. Courageous in a way which so few people were. He was exceptional. He was special.

Ava felt like a fool. How could she have missed this in the boy she claimed to have a crush on? How could she be so blind to his true character? How could she claim to have feelings for someone she didn't know at all?

Dusk had faded into twilight when she rose from the garden and headed into the house. Without stopping to kiss her aunt and uncle goodnight, she climbed the stairs and went into her room, closing the door softly behind her. She collapsed on the bed and buried her face into the pillow, only now crying heartedly. _I am such a fool. He must think I'm the most shallow, selfish little idiot he's ever met._

With her sobbing muffled, Ava eventually fell asleep, the tears drying on her cheeks.

XXX

She awoke in the middle of the night, tossing and turning. The knowledge of Johnny's past wasn't going to allow her to get a good night's rest, apparently.

At first, she felt the pang again and tears welled up in her eyes. As she wallowed in self-pity, she swallowed the lump in her throat. She let her mind drift, and found herself thinking about her family back home. She could see all their faces as clearly as though they were in front of her now. She remembered the last time she had seen them, and the fight she and her sister Carol had gotten into.

Carol, who was the youngest at 10 years old, had gotten into Ava's things, in addition to reading her diary, Carol had scattered some belongings and broken some mementos. Ava had been incensed when she had found out, and had given her little sister a scolding which had sent her crying from the room. Aunt Eileen had confronted Ava about it later that day…

"_You know, Carol didn't mean to make a mess of things for you." Eileen hadn't looked up from peeling potatoes when she spoke. Ava, who sat across from her, dropped her own spud and peeler and looked daggers at her aunt._

"_Well she did. She's 10 years old and knows better than to root through my things like that." _

_Eileen still didn't look up, but let the potato peel fall into the rinds bowl. She placed the naked potato on the counter and took up another. "Don't you want to know why she was in your room, looking through your things?"_

"_Because she's a brat." Ava spat, going back to peeling her own potato, a bit more aggressively than necessary._

"_Because she misses you. She told me this morning that since she hasn't seen you in months, she felt like she didn't know what was going on in your life anymore. I know it doesn't excuse her actions, Ava, but believe it or not, she did it because she wanted to be close to you."_

_Ava pursed her lips. She still felt angry, but now there was another feeling in her chest. Doubt. She didn't say anything for a moment. But as the anger faded and the doubt grew, her hands shook slightly. _

"_I didn't want her to see some of those things. She read my diary! Those things are private." The insolence returned to her tone, and the aggression to the peeling process._

"_We all have a right to privacy." Eileen nodded. "And Carol should have respected that. I understand that you're upset because you feel your privacy was invaded, but Carol is still a child and doesn't know better yet. It takes a certain maturity to respect the fact that people - sometimes the people you care about the most - might want to keep things from you. You can be a bit nosy yourself, Ava. Maybe both of you need to learn something about minding your own business. Though I suspect time will teach you that as well…"_

Ava stared at the ceiling overhead, and wished deeply that Carol were there now. She missed her sister terribly. She had always loved her, protected her, comforted her. She had know the real reason she didn't want Carol reading her diary was because she didn't want Carol to know Ava had troubles of her own. Carol looked at Ava like she was the greatest thing, and Ava was afraid if Carol found out about her own doubts and fears, Carol wouldn't think he infallible anymore, she didn't want the hero-worship to ever disappear from Carol's eyes. It would, one day, when both girls were adults. But Ava did want privacy, and also wanted to hang on to being idolized a bit longer…

She sighed deeply. She had been thinking so much about how hurt she was by Johnny not telling her about his own past, that she had not even considered why he hadn't done it. His motives were important, but being angry at him wasn't likely to get him to open up at about them. Also, didn't he have as much right to privacy as anyone else? Wasn't his privacy already, constantly, violated by newspaper articles and gossip and rumour? At least she hadn't had the pages of her diary spread across _The Evening News. _

She knew it wasn't exactly the same thing. There was a real difference between private thoughts in a diary and killing someone in a park at two in the morning. But the point was, she had to consider that maybe, just maybe, Johnny didn't want her to know. Maybe he wanted to hold on to one relationship where the other person didn't look at him with the knowledge of his deeds in the back of their mind, like she didn't want Carol to know about her own troubles.

She couldn't pretend she didn't know. She could, however, continue to be his friend. It wouldn't be hard to still be friends with him, since she didn't think his actions were morally wrong, per se. In fact, she thought they were more heroic than anything else. And she found, as her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing slowed, that being friends with him would be easier after this, now that she knew a little more about him.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: OK, so here's another chapter I fired off this evening. I'm actually kind of proud the way it turned out. Needs editting in bad way, I'm sure, though...  
**

**Just a little heads up, for anyone interested, the next chapter will have more Johnny actually in it... and I do actually have a plan for where this is whole story is headed... a climax, so to speak. So bear with me and I'll try not to make it too boring between there and here. I know some of you are eager for a love scene, and I can promise you you'll get one...And it'll be epic. Hahaha. Well, I'll let you be the judge of that.**

**Incidentally, if I could get a little feedback on what kind of epic love scene you want, that would be great. I have something in mind, images and ideas, really, so I can easily accomodate the masses should you all lean toward a particular feel. Specifically: kissing? Sex? More innocent stuff? Let me know, please!  
**

**Thank you very very much to everyone who reviews. I can't tell you how much I love and appreciate it!**

**disclaimer: I think you know what I'm going to say. I don't own The Outsiders.  
**

Ponyboy turned around in his chair, and stared at Ava. She was muttering under her breath while alternating between punching numbers into her calculator and writing the results down on the page in front of her.

"You know, when the teacher leaves the room, most people stop working." Ponyboy pulled the pencil from between her fingers, and cocked an eyebrow at Ava's cry of protest.

"I'm right in the middle of -"

"Yeah, well, your grades aren't going to suffer from taking five minutes out to talk to me." He dangled the pencil in front of her, while Ava pursed her lips in frustration and glared at him. "Why haven't you come 'round lately, anyway?" Ponyboy got straight to the point.

"I've just been busy." Ava shrugged, nervously glancing at the classroom door, as though the teacher would appear at any moment to yell at them for not working.

"Too busy to stop by and see Johnny?" Ponyboy leered suggestively.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." Ava snatched the pencil from where Ponyboy dangled it. "School has been crazy and…" She let her sentence trail off.

"And, what?"

"And I guess I don't see much of a point in coming around anymore. I only came by to help Johnny with your mother's garden, but now that he's working at the nursery, I doubt I could teach him anything new. He could probably teach me a thing or two now, though, I guess." Ava tried to return to her calculation, but Ponyboy whipped the worksheet from under her. She glared at him again, and tried to snatch it back. Ponyboy was too quick, though, and held it just out of arm's reach.

"So you're not interested in going out with Johnny, huh?" He teased, bringing the paper closer only to pull it back again just as she reached for it.

Ava, after making a third and final attempt to snap it from Ponyboy, let her arms drop on the table and looked at him with a sigh of resignation.

"I think you'll find, Ponyboy Curtis, that Johnny isn't very interested in going out with me. Now can I please have my worksheet back?"

Ponyboy opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by a deep voice and a shadow falling over the two. Both Ava and he looked up to see Carl Kirk standing over them.

"Hey Grease, you wanna give her the paper back?" This was no request.

"His name's Ponyboy." Ava rolled her eyes. "And he's a friend of mine, so I appreciate your help but it's really unnecessary."

"This grease's a friend of yours?" Carl motioned to Ponyboy, but was looking at Ava, who nodded. "OK." He backed away, still staring at Ponyboy, who returned the look unafraid. Finally, Carl had to turn to get back in his seat. Ponyboy looked back at Ava, an eyebrow cocked and smirk on his face.

"Looks like you've got some muscle." Before Ava could reply, the door opened and the teacher came back in. Ponyboy quickly slid the worksheet back under Ava's arm and turned round to face the front of the class.

Ava couldn't concentrate on the rest of the lesson. What did Ponyboy mean by that comment about muscle? Why did Carl Kirk take such an interest in her conversation?

She did not get the chance to have these questions answered, however. Once the bell rang, Ponyboy was up, out of his seat and gone before the last echoes died away, while she was still gathering her things. She started to rush toward the door, but just as she was about to pass through, the tall figure of Carl Kirk was in the way again.

"Hey Ava." He smiled. She looked at him with a mixture of confusion and annoyance.

"Hi, Carl. Can I just -"

"So you really friends with that Ponyboy Curtis?" He asked, shuffling nervously from foot to foot.

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I've been to his house a few times with Cathy. But we don't -"

"So, he's not like, your boyfriend or anything."

"No. He's not like my boyfriend… or anything." Ava wasn't entirely sure what this meant, or why Carl was acting so strangely, but she knew she couldn't get by him without physically moving him. And seeing as he was so much taller and larger than she was, that really wasn't an option.

"So, you maybe, wanna go out with me sometime?" Carl took a deep breath and let the words come tumbling out, while simultaneously successfully avoiding eye contact.

To say Ava was surprised was a bit of an understatement. Flabbergasted was more apt a word. _Do I want to go out with you? Not even remotely. _"Uh…" She paused. "What were you thinking, in terms of, a date?" She really didn't know how to get out of this without being rude.

"I dunno. We could go to a movie… or even, that dance which is coming up in two weeks."

"There's a dance coming up in two weeks?" Ava asked incredulously. This was the first she had heard of it. Carl looked at her strangely, his eyes slowly moving toward the classroom wall. Ava followed his gaze to a large poster advertising the dance as being only a month away and the social even tof the semester. Clearly this dance she had just heard about had been the talk of the student body for two weeks or more.

There really was no way to hide her ignorance now. "Right…" She attempted lamely. "I thought you meant… another dance."

"Is there another dance?" Carl smiled excitedly.

"Well, I-"

"When is it? Do you want to go to that one?"

"Carl, I was just -"

"Because we can go to that one instead, if you prefer. Or both, even. Is it sooner than two weeks?"

"No, I just-."

"No one mentioned it to me. And the guys and I are usually all over goin' to dances. Hey! Jack, you hear anything about another dance coming up?" Carl called over her shoulder to his buddy, standing in the hall talking to some brunette.

"No, where'd you hear about it?" Jack replied.

"Ava said there's another dance. And it's this weekend."

"I didn't say-"

"Really? I gotta ask Kelly. I'm surprised she didn't say anything. Usually she's the first one to know about dances." Jack called back, not hearing Ava's attempt to break into the conversation.

"There is no other dance!" Ava yelled. Nearly everyone in the hall stopped what they were doing and turned to stare at her. This outburst seemed uncharacteristic of the usually quiet Ava Lamont.

"Why'd you say there was another dance, then?" Carl looked confused.

"I didn't say - look, it doesn't matter now. You want to go to that dance?" She pointed forcefully to the poster on the wall.

"Yeah." Carl nodded.

"Fine. I'll go to the dance with you." _If it'll shut you up._

"Great!" Carl beamed and seemed to stand up a bit taller. "You wanna grab a coke or something now?"

"Um. No." She said, once she had calmed down enough to reflect on what had just happened. "I mean, I-I can't. I've got something I have to do for my aunt."

"Sure. You want me to drive you home?" Carl offered, pulling his car keys from his pocket.

"Thanks, but, I have my car." She explained, pulling her own from her pocket. "But I'll see you tomorrow."

Carl nodded and stepped aside to let her pass.

XXX

Ava slammed the driver's side door shut forcefully and dumped her books in the back seat. Ordinarily she would have arranged them in an orderly fashion on the floor, where they wouldn't slide around and fall over, but she hadn't thought to do it in her current state-of-mind.

_Shit_. _How do I get myself into these messes? I didn't even know Carl Kirk knew I existed until half an hour ago, and now I'm apparently going on a date with him. _She turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of her parking spot suddenly, nearly crashing into another car. After being flipped off and now signalling and waiting her turn, she pulled out into traffic.

As she drove down the road leading out of the high school she saw a familiar figure swaggering down the street, school books under arm. She honked and pulled over, remembering to signal this time. Ponyboy appeared at the passenger window, but did not jump in the car.

"Where you headed?" She asked, leaning over the seat toward him.

"Home." Ponyboy shrugged.

"Get in. I'll take you." Ponyboy hopped in the passenger seat and they took off down the road. "I thought Two-Bit usually gave you a ride home." Ava said absently while checking her rear view mirror.

"Yeah, well, I guess ol' Two-Bit was taking some girl out for a shake or something." Ponyboy stared out the window as the scenes of the street flashed by.

There was a long pause in which neither spoke. Finally Ava broke the silence. "Why are you so interested in me and Johnny going out?"

"Why are you so _not_ interested in it, all of a sudden?" Ponyboy parried, not taking his eyes from the window.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, the way you been hanging on him, over at our house nearly every day for a month. And now, you haven't been by in two weeks and no explanation. I thought you were fixed on marrying him, and now you're going to the dance with Carl Kirk."

Ava was shocked. "How on earth did you hear about that?"

"My locker isn't far from the Math class."

"Bull, Ponyboy Curtis. You're locker is clear to the next wing. And 'sides, from the look of the books you're carrying, you didn't even stop at your locker after leaving class." Ava put two and two together. "You were listening in on my conversation."

"So what if I was? Why were you pretending to like Johnny?" Ponyboy was genuinely angry, his voice shook and rose with each word. He had forgotten the scenes passing by on the street, and had turned to face her, his cheeks burning.

"I wasn't _pretending_. I do like Johnny."

"Then why are you going to the dance with _Carl Kirk_." The dislike oozed from Ponyboy's words.

"Because I got sick and tired of making a fool of myself over Johnny Cade. We both know Johnny was never going to ask me out, Ponyboy." Ava's own voice rose, and she could feel the flush rising in her cheeks too. A loaded silence descended on them. This time it was Ponyboy's turn to break it.

"He might have." He muttered.

"Yeah," Ava scoffed, slowing to stop at a red light. "And I should get old and grey waiting for something that _might_ happen."

"He really likes you. We all thought you liked him, too."

"Yeah, well… I thought I did too. But then, I thought I knew him. Knew all about him."

Ponyboy stared at her, genuinely confused.

"What does that mean?"

Ava turned to stare at her passenger. "Nothing." She said, turning back to the road. The light changed and she accelerated.

"Ava, what does that mean?" Ponyboy reiterated.

"It probably means what you think it means, Ponyboy. You think I knew that Johnny killed Bob Sheldon when I first saw him sitting on that swing on your porch? You think, in a million years, I would have looked at him and thought 'Now there's the face of a killer'." The second the words crossed her lips she knew she hadn't phrased it the way she wanted too. She couldn't look at Ponyboy, but she could feel his eyes on her. She accelerated a bit more, hoping he'd know better than to jump out of the car at the speed they were going.

"Ponyboy, that didn't come out the way I meant it." She said. He was silent still, but his eyes were burning into the side of her head. "I meant that… I just wish he had told me. I had to hear all about it from my aunt and uncle. And then all I could think about was how… how I'd spent all that time with him, telling him things about me and how he had just stood there listening… and I didn't know a thing about him. I know he has his reasons, but how do you think that makes me feel? Like a fool. Like a little fool."

She could feel the burning intensity diminish, and she knew she had explained it right this time.

"That why you haven't come around? You're embarrassed?"

"Yes." Ava's voice was small, quiet. But for once, her face did not turn beet red.

"You're embarrassed for _that_? Shoot, Ava, I've heard you say some pretty dumb stuff, and do some pretty dumb stuff. Like jumping into rose bushes and making up stuff about… about _root rot _for Pete's sake. That's way more embarrassing than this."

"Thanks, Ponyboy. I feel so much better now." Ava deliberately made her voice void of emotional affect.

"What I mean is, you don't have anything to be embarrassed about." He paused for a moment. "You still like Johnny, right?"

"Yeah." Now the colour rushed to her face.

"Well, I know Johnny 'bout as well as anyone, and I bet he didn't tell you because he likes you too. And I bet he was afraid to tell you. You gotta remember that when most people find out about this, they either want to beat him up or think he's scum or something. You never thought that, and he was probably afraid you'd stop hanging around so much if you did know about Bob Sheldon."

"And I guess I did." Ava shrugged. She turned down Ponyboy's street.

"Yeah, but not the way we would have expected." Another silence engulfed them. When Ava pulled up to the curb in front of Pony's house, she geared into park and turned to look at her friend.

"How am I going to get out of this date with Carl Kirk?" She asked lightly. Ponyboy grinned.

"We'll figure something out."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ugh. So, home sick today. Got tired of watching "The Golden Girls" and decided I'd write. Here is the product. Sorry if it's a little... weird. I'm kinda out of it. I have, as usual, a whole bunch of crap to say about it, but I'll spare you.**

**Enjoy. Con-Crit welcome, though please remember I'm not in tip-top condition at the mo. **

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah Outsiders not mine.  
**

Johnny wiped the potting soil from his hands before shoving them into his jeans pocket and heading toward the bus stop. It had been another glorious day at work, and he couldn't help it when a smile crept up on his tanned face. He wasn't smiling at anything in particular that had happened that day, just at the overall satisfaction he felt, and had been feeling, for a few weeks now.

When he first found out he had gotten the job at Ava's aunt's nursery, he had been elated, but so nervous his whole body had shaken. He'd couldn't quite believe that it was really happening to him, that he had finally gotten something he had really wanted. The doubt in the back of his mind had told him that, despite his wishes, Ava must have asked her aunt to hire him. But when the first two weeks past, and he didn't even see Ava at the Curtis home, and her aunt didn't mention anything, he questioned his original assumption. It wasn't until last week when Eileen had finally mentioned that Ava had revealed their friendship.

"_You didn't mention you were friends with Ava." Eileen had greeted him. "I was very surprised to hear that last night. She told me you and she worked on your friend's garden together for over a month. Why didn't you mention it when you came for that interview?"_

It had been all he could do not to immediately ask her what else Ava had said about him. The knowledge that Ava had spoken of him to her family, had described him as _friend_ sent shivers down his spine. He thought about it so much throughout the day that he had accidentally staked all the compost and bone meal bags in the wrong location, knocked over three flowering crap-apple saplings and had to repot them, and spilled almost an entire gallon of Miracle Grow in the greenhouse. Still, despite the stern looks from the assistant manager Kevin, and his own self-reprimand, he hadn`t been able to keep his mind from Ava.

At first Johnny had told himself that the reason he was so happy was because he really had gotten the job on his own merits. Ava had kept her word, and not revealed to her aunt or uncle that he was her friend. At least, not before he had been employed at the nursery long enough that the unofficial probationary period was over. But, though that certainly did make him happy, it wasn't what sent the warm feeling rushing through his arms and legs, or made the heat rise to his face. No, that was the knowledge that Ava spoke about him to her family.

When Ava had stopped coming around suddenly, he had been sure he had been mistaken in thinking anything more than friendship had ever been possible. He told himself that he never truly believed that she could feel anything more for him than that. Ava was a beautiful, rich, smart girl from the other side of town. The fact that she spent time with him, despite their social differences, was just another attribute to add his the growing list in his mind. But he shouldn't put more into it than was really there, he had told himself.

The gang hadn't believed this argument for a moment.

"_Johnny, I'm telling you, she's crazy about you." Sodapop had grinned, emphasizing his words with dramatic hand gestures._

"_Yeah, I never saw a broad so gone on someone before. She drives for an hour every day just to work in the garden with you. I could understand it if you two were doing it or something, but all you ever do is get covered in mud together." Steve rolled his eyes and bit into another piece of chocolate cake._

"_C'mon now, guys. She's just real nice is all." Johnny had argued feebly. "She doesn't like me that way. We're just friends."_

"_Yeah, you think hanging around here with us does such wonders for her reputation at school? People don't take that kind of heat just to be friends with someone." Ponyboy had argued. _

Johnny could feel his cheeks flush at the memory. It was due partly to the thought that associating with him would hurt Ava's reputation, but also at the thought that Ponyboy might have a point.

Now, despite his reservations and the fact that Ava had disappeared suddenly from his life, only to reappear again two weeks later as though nothing had happened, Johnny was beginning to feel a bit more confident that Ava might just feel about him the way he felt about her.

He was just about through the parking lot, thoughts still centred squarely on Ava, when a car pulled up, and a group of Socs got out. Johnny recognized Jessy Hickock immediately, and his fists began to shake. He didn't move, but stared wide eyed at them as they climbed from the car.

"Well, Carl, is this the greaser you were talkin' about?" Jessy grinned slyly as they encircled Johnny. "He's the one who Ava broke off your date for?"

"Yeah, that's him alright." Carl Kirk's eyes were so narrow they were slits. "Fuckin' greasy bastard." He spat, curling his upper lip in distaste.

Johnny felt his heart pounding so hard in his chest he thought it would burst through his rib cage. He slouched over and ducked his face behind the collar of his jacket. He eyed the Socs cautiously above the brim, his eyes darting from one to the other wildly, as though trying to see what each was doing all the time. He felt his hand move from his jean jacket to the blade he had concealed in his back pocket, ready to take it out, if only his hand would stop shaking.

"You know, Carl, he's the one who killed Bob Sheldon." Jessy egged on, his grin becoming more of a snarl.

"Then I guess I got more than one reason to beat the living -"

Carl was cut off by the sound of an engine pulling up. All boys turned to look as Eileen drove toward them, stopped the car and got out. She had the same sweet smile across her lips, though her eyes were cold and hard as she looked the Socs up and down.

"Why, if it isn't Jessy Hickock and Carl Kirk! My how you boys have grown. I haven't seen you in nearly two years, I think. Tell me, how are your mothers?" She smiled, coming to stand next to Johnny.

Carl and Jessy, as well as the other three Socs, all turned to stare at each other, as if looking for direction.

"They're fine, Ma'am." Carl muttered under his breath.

"Well, I'm very glad to hear that. You must tell them I said hello. In fact, I just saw them last week when they were in looking for some ornamental trees for the new lawn your father's putting in, Jessy. Are you boys here about that? Now, I told them the trees wouldn't arrive until next Wednesday."

Jessy shook his head. "No, Ma'am."

"Oh! Then you must be here to drive Johnny home. I take it you're aware he's working for Will and I now. Infact, he's absolutely indispensable to me. I simply don't know what I'd do if anything happened to him… if he got _hurt_ or something. I'm afraid I would be terribly, _terribly _upset. And I'm sure my husband, who's a lawyer you might remember, would also be very… _upset._" Eileen's smiled widened and she put her arm around Johnny's shoulders.

Johnny had been shaking up to this point, but Eileen's firm grip steadied him. His eyes, which had been darting from Soc to Soc, wide and fearful, focused on her kindly face and he took a deep breath.

Jessy, Carl and their friends all murmured something unintelligible, and Eileen continued.

"Anyway, I can assure you that Johnny doesn't need a ride home. Ava, my niece, is on her way here to pick him up as we speak. I just happened to be speaking with her when Johnny was leaving, and she said she had some business over at the Curtis house and would be picking him up on her way there. So thank you very much boys, but your kind offer is really not needed. We don't live very far from here, so Ava will be arriving any moment."

Silence descended on the small group. When no one even made an effort to speak, Eileen continued once more.

"Well, boys, if there's nothing else, I think you'd better go on home. We're closing for the day, you know. It's getting on to supper time and your mothers will be waiting. But don't worry, I'll call them and let them know you were here. I'm sure they'll understand, once I explain things out to them, clear and simple. And I can assure you, that even though we really appreciate your generous offer to take care of my Johnny, your services won't be needed here again. _Ever._" Eileen didn't try to smooth that one over. Though the smile was still plastered to her face, there was no warmth in it, and each of the five Socs standing before her faltered under her steely glare.

As they pulled out of the parking lot Eileen hugged Johnny a bit closer to her, and waved airily at the departing car. Once they were out of view, she released him and began to straighten his jacket.

Johnny stared down at the five-foot-nothing strawberry blond, who was now busy dusting the potting soil from the sleeve of his jacket.

"I don't-" He began, but his voice broke and he faltered.

"It was nothing, Johnny." She said, avoiding his gaze suspiciously. When she did look up at him, tears were just appearing at the edges. "It takes nothing to be stand up _to _those weaker than you. I don't need to tell you, of all people, Johnny Cade, that courage is when you stand up _for _those weaker than you, even when you know you could lose everything." She nodded once, as though to finalize the thought, then brushed one last time at the front of his coat. She turned and headed back to her car, but paused before getting in. "Ava really will be here any moment. You should wait for her."

Johnny was watching her drive away when he heard another car pull up behind him. Ava appeared at his side a moment later, smiling up at him happily. When she saw the look on his face, her smile faded.

"You alright, Johnny? You look like you've seen a ghost." she said, touching his arm lightly in concern. Johnny didn't answer right away, but dropped his gaze from the departing vehicle to Ava's blue eyes. He started into them for a long time, mesmerized, before finally speaking.

"Ava, do you, maybe… might want to-"

"Go out with you? I thought you'd never ask. Honestly! I know that sounds cliché, but I actually thought you weren't ever going to ask me." She breathed, taking his hand in hers and beaming all the more. "Of course I'll go out with you, Johnny!" Then she did something Johnny really wasn't expecting. She raised herself onto her toes and pressed her rose-bud lips firmly against his scarred cheek.

Johnny felt all the blood rush to his head suddenly, and thought he was going to pass out. The scare he had had with the Socs was catching up to him, and he still hadn't exactly processed everything Eileen had said, both to Jessy Hickock and himself. In addition to that, he was now being kissed by Ava, after she had asked herself on a date with him.

As they made their way to the car, Johnny reflected on his current situation. He knew he should be ecstatic. He had a job he loved and was good at, he had a date with a beautiful, sweet, classy girl. But somehow, he still couldn't let go of the nagging feeling it wouldn't last. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice told him that he didn't deserve it. It couldn't be real. This wasn't his life. He'd wake up in the vacant lot, the fire burning low, freezing under a pile of newspapers.

Ava prattled on as they drove toward his end of town, and though he tried to listen to her as attentively as he usually did, his mind was still a mess of nerves.

Before getting out of the car they had made plans to go to a drive in together on Friday night. Johnny had agreed absently to the date, and was still so nervous and distracted when he got out of the car that he completely missed Ava leaning forward to be kissed, or her irritated look when - instead of kissing her - he had opened the passenger door and slid out.

Ava had driven off with a sigh, and Johnny pulled the collar of his jean jacket up past his chin and headed into the Curtis home. He was later than usual , and he knew all three brothers would be home. He had to get to his room quickly, before they bombarded him with questions.

As the front door swung closed behind him, Johnny noticed that all three Curtis brothers were in the kitchen getting ready to sit down to dinner. He took a deep breath. He'd have to run the gauntlet in order to reach his room down the hall.

"Where you been?" Darry called, looking up from setting the mashed potatoes on the table. Without waiting for an answer, he turned back to the stove for the green beans and corn.

"Just at work." Johnny said, attempting to slink by them.

"Ain't you gonna sit down an' eat, Johnny?" Soda called, helping himself to the roast chicken.

"I'm not that hungry." He shrugged.

"Well at least sit down and be sociable. Tell us about your day. Was that crazy lady with the feather hat back today?" Ponyboy grinned at the memory. He was beginning to enjoy Johnny's job simply by the stories his friend told of the customers who came in, and the ridiculous amounts of money they spent on flowers.

"I thought I'd go work in the back yard a bit before the sun goes down." Johnny explained, knowing this was his best chance to avoid any type of conversation. Ordinarily the Curtis brothers didn't pressure Johnny to do anything he didn't really want to do. How many times had they offered him their home and he had chosen to sleep in the vacant lot? How many times did they silently worry over his bruises, black eyes and cuts, when he told them he was fine? They respected Johnny's pride, when they could understand it. But Johnny wasn't one to naturally completely conceal things from them, and his demeanour tonight raised suspicions.

"OK." Darry shrugged, electing to let Johnny alone. Sodapop seemed undecided, but Ponyboy wasn't about to let his best friend get away so quietly.

"What's gotten into you, Johnny?" He asked, then shoved a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. "You sure are acting strange. Something happen at work?"

"Don't talk with your mouthful, Ponyboy. Did that Jessy Hickock come by again?" Darry dropped his utensils and glared.

"Yeah, he came by but-" Johnny continued before an uproar took over "Nothing happened. It's been taken care of. It was just… a busy day." Johnny finally gave up trying to escape the gauntlet and sat down across from Sodapop and Ponyboy. Immediately Darry shoved a plate in front of him and Ponyboy and Soda began to load it with food.

"Whaddaya mean 'it's been taken care of'?" Ponyboy asked quickly, once he had swallowed another mouthful.

"I dunno. I guess Ava's aunt told them to clear off. She knows their mothers or something." He didn't say anymore, though the silence at the table clearly indicated that more was expected of him.

"So that's it? They just cleared off and ain't comin' back because Ava's aunt says so?" Sodapop looked from Darry to Ponyboy, who shrugged. "Gee! She sounds like one tough ol' bird. I'd sure hate to run into her in a dark alley. Imagine if she had Ava's grandmother with her, for backup." Sodapop couldn't contain it any longer, and he cracked up at his own joke, Ponyboy and Darry joining him.

Johnny couldn't help it. His shoulders shook uncontrollably and before he knew it, he was laughing too. His laughter died when he saw the other three boys were staring at him. The looks on their faces made him feel suddenly nervous and self conscious.

"What?" He could hear the worry in his own voice.

"Johnny," Sodapop was the one who spoke again, the shocked look evaporated from his countenance and was replaced by an elated one. "I honest-to-God don't remember the last time I saw you laugh like that."

If Johnny felt self-conscious before, it was nothing compared to how he felt now. "I-I guess it was just funny, Soda." He shrugged, taking a bite of his chicken.

"So what else happened at work today, Johnny?" Ponyboy continued after a long silence. His tone was even, and he was clearly trying to make out that nothing had happened.

"Well…" Johnny wasn't sure he wanted to say any more. But he knew it was rare he got the Curtis brothers alone, and he wanted to be sure Two-Bit wasn't around when he did reveal the news about Ava. "I guess something else kinda interesting happened."

Darry, Soda and Ponyboy said nothing. This was the most they had heard Johnny speak in months, to say nothing of the laughter. They were on eggshells not to do anything to ruin the moment.

When no one said a word, Johnny continued. "Well, I guess me an' Ava are goin' to see a movie on Friday. Y'all wanna come?" He looked up and met their eyes, each in turn. His voice had shaken with nerves, and they could each of them tell his request was partly hopeful.

"As in, a date?" Ponyboy asked, careful to conceal his true excitement to the news. He noted that Darry and Soda had lowered their gazes to their plates, equally afraid to break the mood.

"Yeah, I guess so." Johnny nodded, scratching the side of his head absently.

"I can't." Darry volunteered when no one else said anything. "I gotta work early on Saturday."

"Yeah… and Steve and Two-Bit and me are goin' over to Bucks." Soda had been planning on asking Johnny to come with him, but wisely decided to "forget" to.

"I'm having dinner over at Cathy's parents' place on Friday." Ponyboy lied. He could still come up with pretty good lies when he had to.

"Oh. OK." Johnny nodded, and continued with his meal. The other three sensed that Johnny's talkative mood had passed, and tried to continue the evening as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

After helping with the washing up, Johnny headed into the back yard. Since starting at the nursery, he had begun turning the Curtis' backyard into a small garden for plants too sick or small to sell. Under his tender care, the plants were flourishing, and Johnny marvelled at how some had gone from sickly yellow things to having new-growth branches bending under the weight of heavy buds.

He absent-mindedly pulled a few weeds here and there, checked for aphids, felt the mulch to be sure it was still slightly damp. He still had not mastered the concept of planting a variety of flowers, so blooms could be enjoyed from spring to fall, but he knew that would come as he learned and grew. In any case, he had been able to resurrect these otherwise forsaken plants and help them flourish only because he had been so devoted, his attention undivided. Soon they would bloom, and the old backyard with it's patchy lawn and broken down fence would be an explosion of beauty, the product of love.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N. OK everyone. Here it is. The first date chapter. And, being the spineless individual I am, I have bowed to public pressure and added some LEMON. I shouldn't even write that. It's not entirely lemon, but it definitely has a distinctive citrus flavoring to it.**

**So, as many of you know, I have been ill over the last few days. Actually, ill is an understatement. Let's just say I didn't think that a person could experience the discomfort I experienced and live to not talk about it. Well, I could talk about it, but I'm sure no one wants to hear. So I'll leave you with these words of wisdom: Food poisoning really really really sucks. Really.**

**This is a long chapter. It's about twice as long as usual, but I just couldn't cut it into two chapters. Also, I mentioned above it is lemony. Still, I tried to keep things romantic and lovey, and not too graphic-for-the-sake-of-graphic. I am trying to accomadate those who want lemon, and those who don't. As usually happens when compromising, I fully predict I will satisfy neither. Finally, I re-read the chapter and I'm going to be frank and honest. It's not my best work. Still, it is my first attempt to write lemon-like stuff, so I'm OK with it. I was going to hold off publishing it until I rewrote it, but it took every once of my energy to write it and I have none left to edit. Any suggestions would really make my life easier! (hint hint). ESPECIALLY from those of you who are more experienced lemon writers (you know who you are). **

**Last little bit before I let you get on with it... so far no one has commented on my rather heavy handed metaphores. I figured I just didn't pull them off very well. In this chapter, I added some foreshadowing. Anyone who can correctly identify the forshadowing wins a prize. That prize is the satisfaction of knowing that you correctly identified the foreshadowing. Also, if anyone did pick up on the heavy-handed metaphor, I'd be curious to know. I was thinking of adding some pathetic fallacy, but I can't in a lemony scene because it always makes me think of _erectile dysfunction_ *sound of drum roll and cymbols crashing*. ****I'm here all week folks!**** (fallacy sounds like phallus...get it? Pathetic phallus-cy. I'm a real loser).  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders...**

**ON WITH THE SHOW!  
**

Johnny slowly pulled on his jacket and stared out the living room window. He checked the clock above the TV again, and saw it was still early. Ava wouldn't be arriving for their date for at least another 15 minutes. To say he was nervous was an understatement. Johnny couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like this.

The feeling was not unlike the anticipation of getting beaten up, he pondered while watching the second hand on the clock tic rhythmically. His hands were shaking in his pockets, sweat was glistening on the back of his neck, his legs jerked spasmodically, and he kept shifting his gaze from one person to the other, trying to predict any movement.

There were plenty of people to look at. The whole gang was there, and Johnny couldn't help but feel that it was due, at least in part, to his date.

Ponyboy had claimed that the dinner at Cathy's was cancelled, one of her younger siblings having taken ill. Johnny knew the whole thing had been a lie, he hadn't known Ponyboy all these years just to be taken in. Even still, he didn't say anything. Steve and Two-Bit had come by, ostensibly to pick up Soda, but once they had arrived they settled into drinking beer from the Curtis family's fridge, and made no motion to leave for Buck's. Darry was the only one who genuinely seemed to be doing what he claimed he would be doing, which was nothing. The twenty-two year old was sprawled out on the sofa, eyes drooping as he vainly tried to stay alert. He had had a long day at work and another one was awaiting him in the morning, so no one bothered him or harassed him while he dozed.

"Jesus, Johnny, you look all spruced up. Where you off to tonight?' Two-Bit called from where he sat cross legged on the floor. Everyone knew very well that Johnny was waiting for Ava to arrive so they could go out, but somehow Two-Bit felt the need to drag the words out of Johnny.

"Lay off, Two-Bit." Ponyboy shoved the older boy in the shoulder. He seemed to be the only one who noticed how nervous Johnny was.

"What, Ponyboy? Ain't you just the littlest bit curious where Johnnycake's off to?"

"We all know where Johnnycake's off to. And you think it makes him feel less nervous, you draggin' it out of him like that?"

"It's alright Ponyboy." Johnny said diplomatically, trying to avoid another wrestling match. "Two-Bit, you know I'm waiting for Ava. We're going out tonight." He mumbled the words and turned back to the window.

"You're what?" Two-Bit pretended not to hear. "Lord, did he just say he was going on a date? _Our_ Johnny is going on a real date with a real girl? Oh Steve," Two-Bit reached out for his buddy, feigning tears. His voice took on a high pitched tone, and scratched as though he were all choked up. "Out little man is all grown up!"

"And goin' all the way with girls!" Steve joined in, but instead of pretending to be crying, he let out a howl and a wolf whistle.

"Lay off." Ponyboy shoved both the older boys. Naturally they ignored him.

"'Bout time, too." Steve continued. "I was startin' to get worried about Little Johnnycake."

"Yeah," Two-Bit agreed. "I read somewhere that if you don't use it by the time you're nineteen, it falls off."

"You? Reading? Now _that's_ funny." Ponyboy scoffed.

"Get a load of the mouth on this kid!" Steve glared.

"No respect for his elders." Two-Bit clucked and shook his head. But Two-Bit was not to be distracted from antagonizing Johnny. "So, whadday say Johnny? You need a rubber for tonight, or you got it covered?"

"Nah, Ava's got one of those little MG B roadster sports jobs. You know, with birth control seats. If Johnny's gonna get some tonight, it won't be in her car." Steve shook his head.

"It's a real nice car, though. Real tuff." Soda emerged from the kitchen where he'd just finished baking a fresh chocolate cake. He carried with him a deck of cards and started dealing to the four other boys still awake or not waiting. "Hey Johnny. You tell Ava to come in here later when you guys get back from wherever you're going. We can have some chocolate cake."

"And she can tell us how good you were on your first time out!" Two-Bit added, his mind forever in the gutter.

Ponyboy had given up trying to get the other boys to lay off teasing Johnny. Instead he just rolled his eyes and focused on his cards.

"Ah, can't you see how nervous you're making him?" Soda shook his head and slapped an ace down.

"Yeah, Steve." Two-Bit shook his head in mock disapproval. "You're gonna get him so nervous he won't be able to get it up."

"Guys…" Johnny's quavering tone caused the other four to look up from their hands. "She won't really… expect it… on the first date, will she?" The second he let the words pass his lips, he regretted voicing his fear. Immediately Two-Bit and Steve fell over, clutching their sides and laughing hysterically. Sodapop looked like he wanted to join in, but when he saw the humiliated look on Johnny's face, he restrained himself. Only Ponyboy didn't look amused.

"Go on, Ponyboy." Two-Bit said hoarsely between breaths. "You're the expert. You can teach him all about the birds and the bees."

Ponyboy looked like he wanted to murder the other two. Before he could say anything though, the sound of a car horn beeping caught Johnny's attention and he turned. Ava had just pulled up outside.

"Have fun!" Soda called after him as he headed out the door without another word.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Two-Bit added for effect.

By the time Johnny had reached the car, Ava was leaning against the passenger side door, her hands behind her back, beaming at him. Johnny's breath caught in his chest at the sight of her, her blond hair was loose and wavy. He had never seen her wear it loose, and it was much longer than he had expected, flowing in thick tresses past her shoulders. She wore just a touch of make-up to accentuate her almond-shaped blue eyes and her full lips.

"You look…" He breathed, standing before her. Suddenly he felt self-conscious of his own attire. As usual, he wore another version of the t-shirt and jean combo, his hair heavily greased, hanging nearly to his eyebrows. He felt like a real hood next to her.

"Thank you. You do too." She smiled when he didn't finish his sentence. Then she tossed something at him, and Johnny scrambled to catch it. When he opened his hands, he saw her car keys there.

"What's this for?" He asked, looking at her beaming face. Again, his breath caught in his throat.

"Well, I thought you'd drive from here." She shrugged, opening the passenger door.

"I can't drive. I mean, I've only ever driven Two-Bit's car around the lot a few times."

"So, do you know how to drive?"

"Well, I guess I do. I mean, I stall it sometimes. Two-Bit's car, I mean."

"Well, do you _want_ to drive?" Johnny looked over the MG lustfully. He had never seen such a tuff looking car before. Usually the kids from his side of town drove whatever old beater they could get their hands on and fix up enough. Even most of the Socs Ponyboy went to school with drove Stingrays or Mustangs. But this car, this was a cute little European sports job. He would be the only person he knew who could say he had driven one.

"Yeah, OK." He grinned and moved around to the drivers' side. Before getting in, he looked back to the house, where he could just make out the faces of Sodapop, Steve and Two-Bit watching from the window. He waved and got in the car.

It was a cool night, so Ava had made sure the soft top was up before she left home. She had also been concerned that her hair would get messed up if the wind were too strong while they were driving.

Johnny hadn't lied when he said he stalled the car sometimes. They hadn't gone two blocks before he stalled it, and then he stalled it again a block later. Ava couldn't help but giggle the second time, but immediately regretted it when she saw Johnny's face.

"It's not just you." She explained hurriedly. "It's a really finicky clutch. When Uncle Will gave it to me last Christmas, I must have driven it about forty thousand times before I got the hang of it and stopped stalling it. Even Uncle Will stalls it when he drives."

This seemed to pacify Johnny somewhat. But it was her next words which really seemed to please him. "As you drive it more, you'll get used to it. Within a week I'm sure you'll be better than I am."

They drove in silence, but eventually Johnny had to speak. "So, where are we going anyway?" He asked as they approached a large intersection.

Ava shrugged and looked out the window. "I dunno. Johnny, this is the first date I've been on in Tulsa. I don't really know where we should go or what we should do. But I have to be home by midnight. What do you usually do on dates?"

Johnny's mind went blank. He had never been on a date. He thought about what he knew Dally did on dates, but immediately dismissed the idea. Going to Buck's and getting a room was definitely not on tonight's agenda. He thought about the other guys, and what they said they usually did. He remembered talk of drive in movies, going to Dairy Queen, going to dances…

The movies seemed the best option, but the thought of going to the Nightly Double turned Johnny's stomach. He hadn't been there since the night two years ago… The Dingo was absolutely out of the question, as Johnny wouldn't even go there by himself, let alone with Ava with him.

When Johnny didn't come up with a suggestion, Ava spoke up.

"Why don't we get some drive thru and then find an empty parking lot. Then you can practice driving a bit more." She suggested. Truthfully, she didn't really want to go to a crowded diner like so many of her friends did on Friday night dates. She'd rather have Johnny all to herself.

Twenty minutes later they were sipping chocolate shakes and staring out the windows of the car, which was now parked in the empty parking lot of a grocery store. The radio droned some cheesy love song in the background.

Ava kept stealing glances at Johnny, noting that he seemed to be more nervous than ever.

"Johnny, can I ask you something?" She said between sips of the shake. Johnny looked over at her, nodding, the straw still sticking from the corner of his mouth. "Is this your first date?"

Johnny blushed and swallowed hard. He removed the straw and cleared his throat before speaking.

"I-I guess it kinda is." He confessed, avoiding eye contact. There was a pause. "Is it yours?"

"No." Ava shook her head. "I had a boyfriend when I left home. His name was Daniel." Her tone was very matter-of-fact, so as not to add undue emotional attachment to the news. When she didn't continue, Johnny spoke again.

"What happened to Daniel?"

"He's graduating this year. I hear he's moving to Montréal to go to McGill University."

"Oh." Johnny had never heard of McGill University. "Do you miss him?" He asked, almost afraid of her response. Ava laughed.

"No. Maybe I did a bit at first, but I haven't missed him in a long while now. Especially since…" she let her voice trail off.

"Since what?" Johnny asked, leaning toward her to try to catch her eyes.

"Since I met you." Ava smiled up at him, a light flush to her cheeks. Their faces were only inches from each other. "Johnny, I like you more than I've ever liked anyone." Ava whispered, moving a bit closer still. Her breath smelled of chocolate shake, Johnny noted. "Do you like me, even a little?"

Johnny could feel warmth spreading through his whole body. Ava's chocolaty breath was soft and warm. Her eyelids drooped alluringly, her cheeks flushed hotly, her round lips parted slightly. Involuntarily he felt his free hand move to her arm, then up her shoulder, where it got lost in the folds of her blond hair. As he settled it on the back of her neck, gently pulling her slightly closer, he became acutely aware of the heat emanating from the pit of his stomach, stretching through his whole body.

"I like you." He whispered. He felt incapable of anything above a whisper. "I like you a whole lot." Without another word, their lips met softly.

As they kissed, Johnny couldn't help but feel a surge through his body, starting from his lips but moving rapidly all over. It was like he'd touched an electric fence, like volts were traveling through each extremity at an amazing rate. He felt dizzy, and his heart pounded in his chest, drowning out the soft sound of the radio in the background. Yet despite these feelings, or maybe because of them, he didn't want to stop kissing Ava. Instead, he opened his mouth slightly, and was partly surprised when she responded by opening hers too. The kiss deepened, and seemed to go on forever, each second brought more tension, more electricity, his hearting pounded so loudly he could hear nothing else. He had never felt this way before. He had never known a person could feel this way before. He suddenly understood what the rest of the gang was always going on about.

They tried to inch closer, ignoring when the milkshakes dropped forgotten from their hands. Johnny slipped his other, now free arm around Ava's waist, and felt her hands move over his shoulders, until her arms were around his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss even more. With one arm wrapped about her waist, Johnny tried to pull Ava toward him, but the gear shift between them prevented it. He now understood what Steve had meant by "birth control seats".

The kiss seemed to go on forever, and every moment the warmth and electricity seemed to intensify. Johnny suddenly became aware of a tightening in his pants. Instantly he pulled away, alarmed.

"What? What's wrong?" Ava looked concerned at the abrupt halt to the make out session. "Are you OK?" Johnny noted that she was flushed, her hair was messy from where he had been running his hand through it, and her already full lips were slightly swollen and deep red. He had always thought her beautiful, but at that moment she was more than beautiful. As he looked at her, he felt a pulsing between his legs and moved further away.

"It's nothing." He said, looking down. He immediately saw the chocolate shakes had spilled over the upholstery and mats. "I just noticed-"

Ava followed his gaze. "Oh!" She said, picking up the waxed cups. "Well, chocolate shake on leather upholstery. Uncle Will won't be happy about this." She shuddered. Had she really just brought up her Uncle during a make-out session with Johnny?

After glancing at Johnny's face, she could tell that he hadn't even heard it. She could also tell that it wasn't the spilled milkshakes which had ruined the mood.

"It's OK, Johnny. I have some left over napkins in the glove compartment." She leaned over and flipped it open, pulling out a handful. "We'll just clean it up and I'll take the car to Soda and Steve at the DX tomorrow and get them to clean it professionally, and no one will ever know."

Johnny took some napkins from her. He opened the car door and got out, turned, crouched and started cleaning up the spilled shakes. Ava did likewise from her side.

Once the seats and mats had been cleaned, and Ava and Johnny had both tried to absorb as much chocolate shake from their own clothes as possible, then Johnny took the refuse to the garbage can. By the time he returned, he had gotten control over his situation.

Ava sat in the passenger seat, her hair had been brushed neatly while he'd been gone. He also noted that she seemed to have applied a touch more makeup in his absence. She smiled at him, and he noted by the rise and fall of her chest, that she seemed to be breathing more heavily than normal.

"Are you OK?" He asked, biting his lower lip. "I mean, are you feeling alright?"

Ava thought she would faint when he looked at her with concern in his big, brown eyes. "I'm OK." She smiled, eyes only for him. "Are you OK? You ended things kind of… abruptly."

Johnny reddened and turned away, placing both hands on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, I'm OK." He nodded.

"Good." Ava leaned closer, but stopped when he did not. "What's wrong, Johnny?" she asked, her voice more serious now.

"Nothing. It's just… later than I thought."

Ava checked her watch. It was later than she would have guessed too, it was already nearly ten. Still, there was no rush. She didn't have to be back home until midnight.

"Yeah, but we don't have to leave for another hour at least." She shrugged. Johnny didn't move toward her again, and Ava's brows furrowed in confusion. "What _is_ it?"

"I-I told Soda I would bring you back to their place. He really wants you to have some of the chocolate cake he baked tonight." Johnny explained, turning the car on.

"Johnny, I wasn't really interested in any chocolate tonight." Ava smiled, trying to make him laugh. When the nervous expression on his face didn't fade, she dropped the smile and sat back, arms crossed. It took her a few moments to realize she was pouting, at which point she uncrossed her arms, took a deep breath and plastered the smile back on her face. She would _not_ pout because a boy wouldn't kiss her. It was beneath her.

Johnny stalled the car as they exited the parking lot. He stalled it a total of four times between there and the Curtis home, and each time he seemed to get more flustered and upset. Ava didn't laugh at all now though.

When they got to the Curtis home, it appeared to be dark inside. Still, they climbed the steps and went in the front door, Ava making sure not to slam it behind her. The kitchen light was still on, but there was no sign of anyone.

The living room and kitchen table were strewn with empty beer bottles, but amongst the mess, Johnny found a scrap of paper with Ponyboy's handwriting on it.

_Johnny,_

_We all went over to Bucks. Well, Darry's asleep in his room. Have a good night and say hi to Ava for me._

_Ponyboy Curtis_

Beneath Ponyboy's learned scrawl was a distinctly more juvenile one.

_Johnny,_

_Bedroom's all yours pal. We'll want details when we get back. Have fun!_

_P.S. There's more beer in the fridge if you need to loosen her up a bit. _

_Two-Bit_

Johnny crumble the paper in his fist and shoved it in his pocket. He turned to find Ava collecting the beer bottles and stacking them in a grocery crate she had found in the kitchen. She looked up when she felt Johnny's eyes on her.

"Where is everyone?" She asked, sliding the last of the bottles into place.

"Everyone but Darry's over at Buck's. Darry's asleep." Johnny explained sheepishly. "I guess they got tired of waiting for us."

"Uh-huh." Ava smiled and moved across the room toward Johnny. She took his hands in hers and slid up close to him, tilting her head back to look up into his brown eyes. Johnny bit his lower lip and looked down at her nervously. He desperately wanted to kiss her, but she was pressed up against him even closer now than she had been in the car. If anything were to … arise, he wouldn't be able to conceal it.

He pecked her lightly on her cheek and stepped back a bit. "What do you want to do?" He asked, releasing her hands and moving across the kitchen. Ava sighed in resignation and shrugged.

"I dunno. Give me the tour, I guess."

"The tour?"

"You know, show me the house."

"There's not much to show." Johnny blushed.

"Well, I've only been in here once, at that party. And then I got to see the kitchen and the living roon. There's got to be more than that."

Johnny nodded and pointed to a door off the kitchen.

"That's the bathroom." He stated, then moved around the table and headed down a small corridor. "That room at the end is Darry's room. It used to be Mr. & Mrs. Curtis', but he moved in after they died, so Soda and Ponyboy could have their own rooms." Ava nodded, but did not ask to see the room. Even if Darry hadn't been sleeping, she felt it was too intimate a place for anyone but family or close friends to see.

A second and third doorway appeared off the corridor, and Johnny pointed to the one closest to Darry's. "That's Ponyboy and Soda's room." As soon as he said it, he realized that he had already explained that Soda and Pony had had their own rooms, and recognized how it didn't follow that they now shared. Still, he wouldn't tell even Ava about Ponyboy's nightmares. It wasn't his secret to tell.

Ava, sensing that there was more to this than Johnny let on, wisely decided not to inquire. Instead, she pretended that nothing unusual occurred at all. She turned to the third door and put her hand over the knob.

"And this is your room." She stated, turning it while looking at him over her shoulder.

"It's Soda's room. I'm just using it… for a while." Johnny explained as they went in.

Ava looked around at the room, and could tell immediately that Johnny's description was spot on. There was no way this room belonged to him.

The walls were covered in posters of cars and pin-up girls like Margaret Nolan. There was a single bed with an old comforter and pillow, and small desk with a few books scattered over it. Ava moved toward the desk and picked up the books one by one, examining the titles.

"Are these yours?" She asked, holding up _The Collected Works of Robert Frost._

"It's Ponyboy's" Johnny explained.

Ava smiled. "I've always loved Robert Frost." She said, replacing the book.

"Out through the fields and the woods

And over the walls I have wended;

I have climbed the hills of view

And looked at the world, and descended;

I have come by the highway home,

And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,

Save those that the oak is keeping

To ravel them one by one

And let them go scraping and creeping

Out over the crusted snow,

When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,

No longer blown hither and thither;

The last lone aster is gone;

The flowers of the witch hazel wither;

The heart is still aching to seek,

But the feet question "Whither?"

Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than a treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?"

Johnny felt a flush rise to his face. He was reminded of the last time someone had recited Robert Frost to him, and he shifted uneasily on his feet, the feeling not a welcome one.

Ava picked up on his discomfort, and moved across the room. She took his hands in hers, shyly, and misinterpreted his displeasure.

"It's just a poem." She soothed, running one hand down the side of his face.

Johnny hadn't even heard the entire poem, and it was questionable whether he would have understood had he heard it, but the touch of her soft hands along his skin did have the intended soothing effect. He closed his eyes and turned his face into it, kissing her palm lightly. Ava stepped closer, and thrilled at the feeling of his arms encircling her waist.

She lifted her face up to him, and melted when she felt him press his lips to hers. Instantly, they were both lost in the other's embrace, the kiss deepening slowly.

For a few moments they stood in each other's arms. Johnny's arms tightened about her waist and he pulled her closer. Ava let her hands move over his shoulders, and knit themselves together behind his neck, pulling him almost forcefully into the kiss.

She took a step toward his bed, and Johnny, so entwined, moved with her. They fell backward, bouncing slightly on the mattress, but their lips never parted. His hands began to roam over her back, her shoulders and arms, down to her hips. He was slightly surprised when he felt her move beneath his touch, almost a jerking motion - as though her body pushed forward but was being held in check. He let his hands slide down her thigh, and lifted her skirt slightly, so that he could feel the heat of her skin against his palms.

Ava moaned lightly into his mouth, and Johnny could instantly feel himself thickening. This time, he wasn't surprised or even embarrassed by the reaction. Something told him it was normal and almost expected. Without thinking, he removed his hands from under her skirt and found himself fumbling with the buttons on her blouse.

Ava rolled onto her back, pulling Johnny on top of her. She could feel her skirt bunched high at her waist, and her legs seemed to stretch open of their own accord, and she felt him roll in between them. Johnny's lips moved from hers down to her neck, biting playfully as his hands finally fumbled the last button loose. Immediately he cupped her breasts through her bra, and she could feel his member, pressed against her, thicken.

His mouth engulfed hers again, and he let her hands run through his hair and down his back, gripping his butt and pulling him toward her. Now Johnny let out a let out a quiet moan as she pressed her hips upwards, grinding against him.

Ava wasn't sure what would have happened if at that moment the front door hadn't slammed and a hooting and howling hadn't arisen from the living room. Shocked, Ava and Johnny jumped up and the latter made for the door, closing it as quickly and silently as possible.

Ava scrambled to pull down her skirt as Johnny started straightening himself out. She was starting to do up her blouse when the door swung open and a drunk Two-Bit stood standing in the doorway, eyes wide.

"Johnny! You home? Holy shit!"

"Two-Bit, get out!" Ava hollered, throwing Johnny's pillow at him while clutching her shirt closed with her free hand.

Two-Bit just stared until Sodapop appeared behind him.

"What's all the -Ava! Johnny!" Sodapop stared for only a moment before slamming the door in his own face.

"Did you see- I was only joking in the note, but…" They could hear Two-Bit stammering loudly as Sodapop led him away from the bedroom door.

Ava finished doing up her blouse and checked her watch.

"Johnny, it's nearly midnight. I've gotta go!" She jumped up from the bed and started toward the door, but stopped suddenly. She turned on her heel and looked him straight in the eye. "I can't walk out there past them like this." She said, a frantic look in her eye.

Johnny didn't know what to say. He imagined he was every bit as embarrassed as she was. At least she had another place to go.

"Oh God!" Ava seemed to panic, her hands grabbing fist-fulls of her already messy hair. "What must they think of me? I can't believe I came into your room on our first date." Johnny thought he heard a distinct catch in her breath, and though he couldn't see her face clearly in the darkness of the room, he felt fairly sure there were tears on her cheeks.

He took her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "It's OK, Ava." He comforted, holding her close. "They aren't going to think anything about it. I promise."

Ava looked up at him, and he was relieved to see only a tear or two had escaped from her eyes.

"What do _you think of me?" She asked, her eyes desperately seeking comfort._

"_I think…" Johnny wasn't entirely sure what to say. "I think you're beautiful." He smiled lamely. At the relaxed expression on her face, Johnny sighed. He had said the right thing. "But you'd better get goin' or your aunt and uncle won't let you go out with me anymore."_

_Ava nodded and tried to pat down her hair with her hands. Johnny didn't tell her that it didn't help much. She released herself from Johnny's arms and moved toward the door. Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, Ava opened it forcefully. Johnny watched as she marched out into the living room._

"_Good evening, gentlemen." She smiled and nodded to Steve, Soda, Two-Bit and Ponyboy, who were sitting around the living room. "I'm sorry I didn't see you earlier. I'm afraid I have to leave now, but I'm sure I'll see you again soon. Goodnight." Without waiting for Johnny to walk her to the car, Ava turned and marched straight out the front door._

_Johnny, who had followed her out into the living room, grinned sheepishly and was out the door a second later, evidently to escort her to the car._

_They kissed goodnight under the light of a street lamp, then Ava got in and drove away._

_Johnny watched until the taillights disappeared around the bend._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So just fyi, we're on the home stretch of this story. I'm going to try to finish it this weekend, so expect a few more updates between here and Monday. I am mentally preparing my next story... which at this point is still going to take place in the world of "Johnny and Dally didn't die" etc. But it's going to focus on Dally and it's not really going to have any OCs and it's not going to be a romance. It's still in the preliminary stages, though... very early stages of mental planning. We'll have to see how it turns out.**

**As I mentioned before, I actually already had the plot for this story worked out. I had to re-tool it as I went, though. I'm going to include - as a final chapter - some of the original plans I had for it. You'll know when the story ends, though, so if you don't want to read the Author's Notes chapter, you can just ignore it.**

**Also, there will be a serious lemon scene. BUT I will not be posting it here. If you are interested in reading the lemon scene, I will make it available to anyone who wants it via pm. Just write me and I'll send it to you at the appropriate time. It'll be supplemental, and not a part of the plot, that way you don't have to read it if you don't want to, and you won't miss anything critical to the story. It has not been written yet, though it will be shortly.  
**

**As a final note, spicygurl was correct re the foreshadowing. It is hidden in the Robert Frost poem "Reluctance". I've always had a serious thing for RF, and to this day can't decide if I prefer him or T.S. Eliot - who I also have a mad crush on. Ah! If only they hadn't died so long before I was born! *sigh*.  
**

**I suppose foreshadowing is the type of thing that is only really apparent when the story is finished, so I'm super impressed spicygurl figured it out. I hope it will become obvious once the story is resolved.  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Outsiders.**

Once the car was out of sight, Johnny turned and headed back toward the house. He hadn't taken more than two steps, however, when he was suddenly aware of what he would have to face upon walking through the door.

He didn't relish the thought of having to deal with the antics of a drunken Two-Bit and Steve, even if Soda and Ponyboy were there to try to stem the flow of ridicule and teasing. He briefly considered running down to the vacant lot and sleeping there, but he knew this would solve nothing. If he didn't face it now, he would just have to face it later. Two-Bit wasn't going to let this golden opportunity go by without some buffoonery.

Taking a deep breath and keeping his head down, he climbed the steps and opened the screen door, closing it quietly behind himself.

"There he is!" Two-Bit shouted as soon as Johnny walked in the front door. His friend stood and saluted, wiping a mock tear from the corner of his eye. "Johnny," He said, his voice cracking with emotion "I never would have thought you had it in you." He came around from the other side of the kitchen table and grabbed Johnny's hand, shaking it forcefully. "I want to shake you hand." He slurred, without realizing he was already doing it.

"Yeah, Johnny!" Steve hollered from his seat. "I can't believe you got her into your room on the first date! I never would have guess she was such a slut by the look of her. Or that you had such smooth moves."

Something boiled in Johnny at Steve's comment. He felt anger rise up inside himself.

"Steve," He said, his quivering with rage. "Ava is not a slut." His whole body shook, his heart pounding so hard he thought it would burst from his chest.

"Alright, alright. Take it easy." Steve grinned. "Jeez, Johnny, you actually look like you're angry. I was only joking. Don't hit me or anything." Steve laughed at his own comment. The idea of Johnny hitting anyone except in self-defence was ludicrous.

"I-I just don't want you calling her that. How would you feel if someone called Evie a slut?" Johnny asked, getting control of himself.

"Depends on who said it." Steve shrugged. "If it were some Soc, I'd beat the tar out o' him."

Ponyboy scoffed, and earned himself a reproachful look from Soda's best friend.

"You got something' to say, Ponyboy?" Steve asked, glaring at the younger boy.

"Nope." Ponyboy didn't even try to hide the grin on his face.

"Listen, stop talking you two. I want details from Johnny. Right now. Johnny…" Steve had opened his mouth to retort to Ponyboy, but Two-Bit held up his hand for silence. "I want details, Johnny. I want details. How far did you get? What moves did you use to get her in the room?" The list of demands would likely have continued, if Soda hadn't butted in.

"Two-Bit, it's none of your business. 'Sides, a _gentleman_ doesn't give away his secrets."

The rest of the gang was quiet, though it actually seemed that Two-Bit would burst. After a few moments of silence, he spoke up again:

"Johnny, I gotta know!"

"Shut up! Gee, Two-Bit you sure have a filthy mind. C'mon, Johnny, let's go to bed." Ponyboy rolled his eyes as he stood up, making his way to his room, Johnny following him.

"C'mon Johnny! You can't tell Ponyboy and not us…" The rest of Two-Bit's protests were drowned out when Johnny closed the door to Ponyboy & Soda's room. Ordinarily Soda and Pony slept together in this room, so Johnny was a little confused by Ponyboy's invitation. As Ponyboy got ready for sleep, Johnny made himself comfortable at his friend's desk.

There was a comfortable silence between them at first. Both boys were grateful for it, and for the fact that they had someone in their lives with whom they felt comfortable during a prolonged quiet spell. But it wouldn't last. Finally, after he had crawled between the blankets and propped himself up on his elbow, Ponyboy spoke:

"So… you and Ava, huh?" He grinned. It wasn't a teasing grin though, like Two-Bit and Steve's. It was a happy grin, a grin with which Ponyboy said - without the necessity of words - that he was genuinely happy for Johnny.

"I guess so." Johnny nodded, and couldn't keep a grin from crossing his own face. After another moment and deep breath he said: "Ponyboy, I'm so happy." The grin widened of its own accord, despite Johnny's attempts to contain it.

"I'm happy for you Johnny." Ponyboy said simply. Another pause in the conversation, as both boys let their words hang in the air.

"Ava, she's… she's… I've never felt like this before, Ponyboy. I mean, you remember that time we were up at the church and we watched that sunrise? I thought then that was the happiest moment of my life. It was like, a moment of peace and happiness, when everything else was just so bad. But when I'm with Ava, I feel like that again. When I'm workin' at the nursery, I feel like that too. It seems like I feel like that more than I feel bad, now." Johnny stopped talking, pondering his own words. Ponyboy remained quiet, waiting for his friend to continue. "And tonight… the way I felt when we were kissing…" He stopped again, then suddenly looked up at Ponyboy, their eyes meeting. "You feel like that with Cathy?"

Ponyboy studied his friend's face a moment. He saw something there which was a rare thing to see on Johnny's face. Despite the scar across the cheek, or even the scars covering his neck, Johnny's face was bright, his eyes and skin glowing. There was happiness, pleasure, and most important of all, hope, glowing in his friend's face.

"I don't think I feel about Cathy like you do about Ava. Or the other way around." He shook his head finally. "I like Cathy, she's a real cute girl. And she's real smart… But I don't think we feel about each other the way you and Ava do. We never… went to bed together… I don't mean sex. I mean, we never did the stuff that you and Ava did tonight."

"How do you know what Ava and me did?" Johnny asked, confused.

"Two-Bit was stammerin' on about it when he came out. He looked pale, like he'd seen a ghost, and he just kept sayin': Her shirt was open… her shirt was open…" Ponyboy laughed at his imitation of the older boy, and despite his embarrassment Johnny couldn't help but laugh too. When they stopped laughing, Ponyboy's expression became sober. "Johnny, do you love Ava?"

Johnny clamped his mouth closed tightly. _Do I love Ava?_ he thought to himself. Desperately he tried to remember what love looked like. He knew readily enough what _some_ kinds of love looked like. He saw the love between Soda and Ponyboy - the way they were always supporting each other and the way Soda listened to Ponyboy's dreams and fancies, though he couldn't really take part in them. He saw the love Darry had for his brothers, expressed through the sacrifices he made every day, the devotion to their success and happiness, even if it meant he had to work two jobs and never got time for any fun. He even saw the love between Two-Bit and his mother, who was forever letting her son get away with just about anything, because Two-Bit's humour and smile was worth the added trouble to her. But romantic love?

Johnny wasn't sure he had ever seen that. Sylvia claimed to have loved Dally, but she cheated on him every chance she got. Soda loved Sandy, Johnny was sure of that, but it hadn't been reciprocated. Even Johnny's parents… if there ever had been love there, it had vanished so long ago no one - even his parents - couldn't remember if it had ever existed.

As he search in his mind, an image finally came to him. And oddly enough, it was to do with the rose bush out front of the Curtis home. He remembered nearly seven years ago, Mr. Curtis had come home from work one cool spring evening, and in the back of the truck was a large climbing rose bush. He had called to Mrs. Curtis, who had been preparing dinner while the boys all played ball in the front yard. She had come out on the front porch, and when she saw the bush tears had come to her eyes. He watched as they embraced, kissed… Ponyboy and Sodapop had made faces and vomiting motions, but Johnny hadn't. He had never seen this type of display before, and it fascinated him. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis, in front of their three sons and Johnny, but with eyes only for each other.

Now that rose bush was twice as tall as it had been, and the buds were opening to reveal a deep crimson flower. It thrived.

Did Johnny love Ava? The love he had seen between Mr. and Mrs. Curtis wasn't exactly how he felt about Ava. He suspected that it wasn't the kind of love most teenagers felt about one another - not even Soda's feelings for Sandy were like that. If that were love, than he didn't love her. But he suspected, if he and Ava married and had a home and three boys and he brought her home a rose bush from the nursery, they would look at each other like that. Their fingers would caress the other's cheeks, their foreheads and the tip of their noses would touch, and they too could be lost in each other's gaze while the children made pretend vomiting actions all around them.

"I-I don't know." He said finally. He suspected it was something like love, but this image was the only idea of love he had to go on. And he didn't really believe anyone who hadn't been together for years could love someone else that way. In any case, he couldn't talk about the image in his head. Not to Ponyboy. Though it had been three years since Ponyboy's parents died, Johnny knew that the topic was still sensitive, and tried not to bring it up if he could help it.

Ponyboy stared at his friend, trying to imagine Johnny's thoughts. For years now the two young men, despite their age difference, had been so close Ponyboy hadn't had much trouble trying to figure out what Johnny thought. Johnny's thoughts and feelings were simple, and his morals and ethics were not overburdened with philosophical grey areas. Johnny had a simple code of right and wrong and he lived by it. Experiences and actions and words fell on either side of the line, and Ponyboy found it easy to predict Johnny's feelings on matters based on his understanding of Johnny's code. But this Johnny was different. For the first time Ponyboy felt a divide between them. What's more, he conjectured it had everything to do with Johnny's feelings toward Ava. He suspected, though couldn't confirm, that Johnny was in love with her, and having never been in love himself, he couldn't exactly understand what Johnny was thinking or feeling.

The knowledge left Ponyboy feeling alone. First Sodapop and now Johnny. He told himself, though, that it wouldn't last forever. But more than that, he worried. Sandy had left Soda and - though Soda had concealed it well - it had left him heartbroken. Would Ava do the same to Johnny?

"See you tomorrow, Ponyboy." While Ponyboy was lost in these thoughts, Johnny had risen from his seat and crossed the room. "You want me to hit the light?"

"Yeah, I'm goin' straight to sleep."

"'K. Night."

"Night."

_WEEKS LATER…_

Ava slammed her locker door and cursed under her breath. The door had been bent slightly when she had first been assigned to it in January, and had always required a firm hand when closing. Still, she disliked having to slam it so forcefully.

She held her books loosely to her chest and made her way to the girl's washroom on her floor, mentally running through a list of things she had to do.

_Gotta go to the doctor's this afternoon as soon as school's out… Have to remember to ask about birth control pills after the lung x-rays… then I have to study for my Science exam on Tuesday. I can't believe the semester is over in another two weeks… I can't wait for summer vacation, I'll get to spend even more time with Johnny! I really need to focus now, though… can't get distracted during exam time… Gotta keep my marks up if I want to get into pre-med…_

Her train of thought was interrupted, however, when she swung the bathroom door open and was confronted by the sound of sobbing coming from one of the stalls. Being the nosy individual she was, she tried to inconspicuously duck her head to see from which stall the crying was coming. When she found the right stall, she immediately recognized the shoes.

"Cathy?" She knocked lightly on the door. A choked sob answered her. "Are you OK? What's going on?"

She heard the lock slide and the door opened slowly. Cathy looked terrible. Her eyes were swollen and her face puffy. She had clearly been crying for a while.

"Are you OK?" Ava was shocked. It was definitely unlike Cathy to be crying in the girls' washroom between classes.

"Ponyboy broke up with me." Her friend blubbered.

Ava was shocked for the second time in two minutes.

"Ponyboy broke up with you? Why?" she asked, before dropping her books to pull her friend into an embrace.

"I don't really know." Cathy responded to the embrace with a sigh. "He just said something about how he didn't really feel our relationship was going anywhere."

"I'm so sorry, Cathy." Ava procured a Kleenex from her skirt pocket and handed it to her friend. "Honestly, I didn't really know that you were so in love with him."

Cathy dried her tears with the Kleenex before blowing her nose loudly. She took a deep breath and moved past her friend toward the mirror.

"I wasn't really." she shrugged. "And I don't think he was with me, either. Honestly, things have been strange ever since we double dated a few weeks ago." Ava said nothing, but waited for her friend to continue. "You know, when Two-Bit lent us his car and we all went to the drive-in together? Well, Ponyboy and I were watching the movie and you and Johnny were… in the back seat. And we couldn't help but kind of hear what was going on… and I remember we just sort of looked at each other… but we didn't even kiss or anything. We just went back to watching the movie. I guess I kind of knew then."

Ava bit her lower lip. "I don't know what to say. I'm just… so sorry."

"It's OK." Cathy had clearly gotten control of herself. She had stopped sobbing and was splashing cold water on her face. "I think it was more of the shock than anything else. I was sort of thinking about breaking up with him, to be honest. It's just embarrassing that he dumped me first. It's embarrassing to be dumped." Cathy pulled some make up from her purse and began reapplying it in the mirror.

Ava said nothing but continued to watch Cathy's reflection in the mirror. She couldn't believe how well Cathy was taking it. If Johnny had broken up with her… she couldn't continue that thought. The very idea made her stomach turn and sent a tingling sensation down her back.

Cathy had started talking about something else, but Ava listened only half-heartedly. She couldn't help but wonder how this break up would affect how things had been. The last few weeks had been perfect. She and Johnny were together, Ponyboy and Cathy had been together, the four of them double dating sometimes, going to Dairy Queen or the drive in… It was all over now, and Ava couldn't help but wonder how she would manage being with Johnny and keeping Cathy as her best friend. Surely Ponyboy and Cathy wouldn't want to see each other as much now.

As she nodded and gave the required "uh huh" occasionally while Cathy continued on about exams, Ava decided to leave it all alone for the time being. Exams were starting on Monday and she really couldn't afford to be distracted by this drama. She would just work on figuring out how to juggle all her relationships after exams were over. It was reasonable, and moreover, she had to remain objective and detached.

_Besides,_ she thought as she headed for her last class of the day, _this will all blow over and next year things will be back to normal. Cathy and Ponyboy will move on, and eventually they'll be able to hang out again and things won't seem strange. _

At that moment, the last thing on her mind was the doctor's appointment.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: In addition to this... I am about half way done the lemon scene. It will be sent out to those who want it shortly.**

**WARNING: bit of a cliff hanger at the end here. would LOVE some guesses as to what is going to happen...**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Outsiders.  
**

Eileen hung up the phone, but didn't let it go from her grasp immediately. Instead, she stared at the receiver, her thoughts running a mile a minute. It had been Doctor Kadray's office, calling regarding the results of Ava's last set of tests.

Eileen had always told herself that this could happen. She had tried to guard herself against the thought of losing Ava. But now, faced with the unrelenting reality of the situation, she knew she had not prepared enough. Her knees buckled beneath her, and for a moment she thought she would fall. She braced herself on the kitchen counter, though, and took a deep breath.

She remembered the first time she had seen Ava. It had been in the maternity ward at the hospital. Her sister Heather had been holding the new baby, running her hand over the bald head and kissing her face lovingly. Alex had been at her side, beaming with pride. After two boys, he had finally gotten his little girl.

Eileen had prepared all the usual things to say _Oh! She's beautiful! What perfect little hands and feet and ears…_ she had lied easily enough when Alexander Jr. and Owen had been born. Both babies had been uncharacteristically ugly, and she prepared herself to lie through her teeth yet again to her sister and brother-in-law. But when she saw little Ava cradled in her mother's arms, screaming her head off and red as a cooked lobster, something moved in her. Despite the gaping mouth and scrunched eyes, little Ava _was_ as beautiful as Eileen had hoped.

She had held Ava for hours while her sister slept and Alex had gone back to work. Ava had finally fallen asleep after another hour of crying, and Eileen simply gazed at her, rocking back and forth and cooing to the infant. She even caught herself running a hand over the bald head and admiring the perfect little hands and feet and ears, already fully formed in miniature.

When John-Angus was born only 10 months later, Heather had had her hands full with four children under the age of 5. Eileen had been there everyday, and eventually gave up her own flat and moved in with the family to help out. John-Angus had been a sickly little thing, and Heather was at her wits end just trying to stay on top of dirty diapers and laundry. It had fallen to Eileen to care for Ava, and so the foundation of the relationship had solidified even before Ava's first birthday.

Carol came along as a surprise a few years later, and by then Alexander Jr., Owen and Ava were all in school, and Heather was better able to handle the large, bustling family. Eileen, now not needed as much in the Lamont home, had moved out and found work in a hotel in the city, which catered mostly to tourists. Even though she was gone most of the time, she had made her way back as often as possible to see her nieces and nephews. Despite the distance, the bond between Eileen and Ava never faltered, never faded.

When Ava was ten Will had come into Eileen's life, visiting the area first on business, but eventually coming back under the guise of a tourist. In reality, he had come back over and over simply to see Eileen. As Will's visits increased in quantity and duration, Eileen didn't make it back to see the Lamonts as often as she had.

When Will proposed marriage, 5 years ago now, she had initially declined. At first it was the thought of leaving her home and moving to faraway and unknown Tulsa that had deterred her. But she quickly realized it was more than that. She already hated how much she was away from her sister's family, and the thought of moving so far away caused her so much anxiety she couldn't bare it. But Will was a determined man. In fact, his determination was one of the things Eileen admired the most, and despite her attempts to break it off with him, he just kept coming back.

Eventually, it was seeing Ava again which made her realize how much she loved and wanted to be with Will. She had been home visiting, and Ava had returned from school. She had kissed and hugged Eileen with great enthusiasm, but didn't stay for the usual visit. She had friends waiting, they were going to the beach… She didn't have time for a visit.

Eileen had known then that Ava was no longer the screaming, bald baby she had held in her arms, was no longer the little girl she had cradled and read to. Ava was growing up and moving on, and it was time Eileen did too.

She never regretted marrying Will, and once she had settled into life in Tulsa, she found she was actually able to enjoy it. It was when the phone call came from Heather that her knees had buckled the first time, and she had caught herself from falling. She had hung up the phone, and it had taken her longer then than it did now to catch her breath.

Heather had called to say Ava was sick. Very sick. The antibiotics weren't working fast enough. The East coast Canadian winter, with it's mixture of freezing temperatures, hurricane force winds, snow one minute and rain the next, had taken a toll on Ava's already weak lungs. The doctor's said she needed warmth, she needed a dry climate. And it was either Tulsa with Eileen, or Osoyoos with second cousins. She hadn't hesitated then.

How many times had she thought she would lose Ava that first week? She had been so sickly, so weak upon arriving at the airport. Eileen had stayed with her every moment. She had even hired someone to come in and cook and clean so that she would not have to leave Ava's bedside for a moment to take care of sundry household tasks which always seemed to pile up. But the steady flow of antibiotics, the warmer and drier climate and Ava's Lamont constitution did wonders. She'd made as rapid a recovery as anyone had seen.

And now, Eileen swallowed hard, she was going to lose Ava. She was going to lose her, and something about the whole situation made her feel just as she had that moment she had seen her niece wheeled out at the arrivals terminal.

Eileen stood and straightened her apron. She closed her eyes and forced the tears back. She walked into the dining room where Ava and Will were eating dinner together. When they looked up, concerned looks crossed both their faces.

"Eileen! What's happened?" Will asked, starting to stand.

"Ava," Eileen's voice sounded as though it were coming from far away. "Ava, that was Doctor Kadray's office. They called because the results of the last set of tests came back."

"Already?" Ava looked up, her eyes wide, her cheeks lightly flushed. "What did they say?"

"They said," Eileen swallowed hard. "They said you're cured. You can go home now."

Ava simply stared. After a moment she blinked.

"What?" she asked, her stony gaze never faltering.

Eileen cleared her throat and took her seat, laying the serviette across her lap and pouring herself a glass of water from the carafe.

"He said that this is the third set of tests which have come back completely clean, and that in his medical opinion you are completely cured and you can return home any time now." She helped herself to the cauliflower, then offered the dish to her niece. Ava shook her head and Eileen put it back.

Will, at the head of the table, sat down again. He looked between Ava and Eileen, and for the life of him thought they acted more like they had just returned from a funeral.

"Ava," He said, smiling at her cheerfully. "Aren't you happy? This is great news!"

"It's not that I'm not _happy,_ Uncle Will. I'm just surprised. Of course I'm happy." Ava said the words almost mechanically at first, but as she spoke a smile spread across her face. _Home_. _I can go home. I can see my mother and father and Carol and the boys… my friends… the beach… _ Suddenly she felt elated. "God!" She said, ignoring her aunt's scandalized look. "I can go _home!" _

Ava picked her napkin up off her lap and dropped it on the table, she leapt from her seat and rushed to her aunt, taking her in a firm embrace. "Aunt Eileen, I can go _home!" _She cried, tears running down her face. She released her aunt, who despite her own feelings was smiling now. Ava rushed to her uncle and wrapped him in a bear hug. When she released him she just stood there for a moment, tears still streaming from her eyes, but smiling like a fool.

"I've got to tell Johnny!" She declared, rushing out of the room.

"You're not driving anywhere in the state you're in, missy!" Will declared rising from the table and going after her. "If you have to tell him this minute you'll just have to do it over the phone. Or you'll wait until you've come to your senses before you drive anywhere…"

Eileen sat at the table, listening as Will and Ava's voices faded. She stared at her plate, the cauliflower, chicken breast, spinach and potatoes seemed to stare back at her. Slowly, the picture blurred, and tears fell into the cheese sauce.

XXX

Soda's bare feet twitching was the only outwardly visible sign that he was bored. He stared at them, trying to decide what to do. It was the nicest evening the summer had offered yet, and he was itching to get out of the house and have some fun. Steve and Darry were both still at work, and wouldn't be off for hours yet. Ponyboy was at the movies, probably, as that was where he spent his afternoons when school was out, and he wasn't at his part-time summer job. Even Two-Bit was no where to be found, though was likely either drinking or out with a new blonde.

Soda sighed and pulled himself off the couch. He would just have to harass Johnny into something. He knew his friend didn't have a date with Ava that night, because he was out in the garden clipping and weeding. Soda couldn't understand how Johnny did it. No, he couldn't understand how Johnny _loved _it. Everyday it was clip-clip-clip, water-water-water, weed-weed-weed. The results were amazing, Soda had to admit. He had forgotten how beautiful his mother's garden had been, but Johnny's tender attentions seemed to breathe new life into the old plants. It wasn't the results Soda had a hard time appreciating, it was the monotony of the chores it took to get the results.

Getting a car working again, now that was something he understood and appreciated. Every time someone brought in their car, it was a new and different problem, sometimes very challenging. Trying to figure out how to get it to work right was like a competition, a competition of wills - his against the engine's. But the continuous and necessary maintenance of a garden - every day performing the same dreary tasks - that was beyond his appreciation.

Nevertheless, Johnny seemed to love it. Soda found him on his knees in the dirt, diligently pulling at some weeds which had ensconced themselves at the base of some bush.

"Hey Johnny, whatcha doin?" He asked, jumping over the railing and landing on the soft turf.

"Just weeding." Johnny shrugged. He pulled a little harder at the dandelion.

"Can I help or something? You want me to pull some stuff up?" Soda moved over to a different section of the garden and grabbed hold of something that looked like a weed. He was about to yank it out with all his force when Johnny's cry stopped him.

"No! Don't pull that up! I just planted it a month ago."

"You planted this?" Soda asked incredulously. "On purpose?"

"Yeah, man." Johnny rose from where he'd been working and made his way over to Soda, who still looked unconvinced. "It's called Lamb's Ears." He checked over the plant to be sure that Soda hadn't injured it in his enthusiasm. While he was doing that, Soda moved across the lawn to a new section.

"What about these?" He grasped another tall plant and was about to yank, but stopped himself. Johnny was there in a flash.

"No! Those are Bee balms! Look, Soda, just don't… touch anything." Johnny looked like he was going to have a heart attack, and Soda released the Bee Balms quickly.

"Um, Johnny?" Soda's tone was soft, and he dropped a hand on his friend's shoulder. Johnny looked at him expectantly. "I don't want to hurt you feelings, but there aren't really any _flowers_ on these plants. I mean, aren't there suppose to be flowers in a garden?"

"They'll bloom, Soda. Just not this year, maybe. Anyway, I'll find something for you to do, just… give me a minute to-"

The sound of an engine pulling up to the curb caused both Soda and Johnny to turn and stare. Ava had just pulled up, and just as soon as she shut off the engine, she hopped out and rushed toward them.

"Hey Ava!" Soda grinned happily. "Whatcha doin?"

"I just got some news!" She beamed at Johnny, hooking her arm in his. "Hey, Soda, you wanna take my car for a spin?" She knew this would get rid of Soda, so she could talk to Johnny privately.

"Yeah!" After she tossed the keys to him, Soda took off toward the car, leaving Johnny and Ava alone.

Ava took Johnny by the hand and led him up the stairs to the porch swing. They sat down together and Ava kissed him softly, leaning her head on his shoulders. Johnny felt a bit self-conscious. It was still bright out, and there were people walking around the neighbourhood. Anyone could see them sitting there. He pulled away, but clasped her hand in his and squeezed it.

"Johnny, I have some incredible news." Ava beamed, looking straight at him. He waited patiently for her to continue. "I was eating dinner, and the doctor called and… he said I'm all better now and I can go home."

The words hit Johnny like a slap in the face. He could feel the blood rush from his head, his mouth went dry, his throat closed over. Ava was leaving.

"Johnny," Ava immediately saw the change in his countenance. Almost instantly Johnny had turned the lightest shade she had ever seen him, and she could feel his hand trembling in hers. "Johnny, what is it? Are you alright?"

"You're leaving?" Johnny asked, his voice barely a whisper. His eyes widened, and suddenly there were tears in them. He turned away, but she saw him swallow the lump in his throat. This was not how Ava had envisioned telling him. "You're leaving."

"Johnny, I-I…" she stammered, but could think of nothing to say. "I have to go home, Johnny. I have to see my mother and father… my family. I have to see all my friends… it's my _home_, Johnny."

"I-I understand." He nodded. He had gotten control over himself, but when he looked back at Ava, her heart nearly broke at the sight of the pain in his eyes.

He did understand. Or at least, he could imagine he understood. Johnny didn't have a mother or father who loved him. He didn't have any brothers or sisters… he didn't have fond memories like Ava had recounted. She had told him of beach days in the summer, fishing and digging for clams and diving for oysters, fall days watching the leaves change while hiking in the forest, seeing the large Vs in the skies as geese and other birds flew south… then the snow falling, the tobogganing and the snow forts, the ice skating, and in the early spring the maple syrup making… the earth awakening from it's winter slumber… Johnny had imagined it, he saw it all in his mind's eye, each scene made real by Ava's words and her longing for home. If Johnny's childhood had had half of that, half the love of her family, he would miss it too. He couldn't be angry that she wanted to leave. But he didn't know what would be left once she was gone.

"Johnny, come with me." Ava said spontaneously. He scoffed, but when he looked at her again he saw she was serious. "Come with me. Come with me." She wrapped her arms around his neck, and buried her face in his shoulder. Johnny felt his arms encircle her, he smelled the familiar scent of her hair, nuzzled her neck, kissed her ear. He was surprised to feel hot tears on his cheek as he rested his head on hers.

"Ava…" He started, but stopped. He didn't know what to say.

"Johnny, just say you'll come. Please…" Ava's voice cracked, and when she looked at him again, tears were now streaming down her face as well.

"Ava, I've only ever been out of our neighbourhood one time."

"So? You can still come. We can go home together… and you can live with my family and -and…" Johnny cut her off with a kiss. They pressed their faces together till their tears blended. He knew what she was saying didn't make any sense. It was just a fantasy.

As suddenly as her elation had arisen, it dissipated upon the realization that going home meant losing Johnny. Ava pressed her lips against Johnny's harder, but the tears still came pouring out. She couldn't lose Johnny, she decided then and there. She wouldn't lose Johnny.

Finally she broke off the kiss. "Johnny, just say you'll think about it. Just say… just say you'll consider it. I'll ask Uncle Will all about it. He'll know the logistics… you could immigrate and then we wouldn't have to worry about anything any more. I know you'll miss Ponyboy and Soda and Darry and Two-Bit… but we could be _together. Just say, Johnny, that you'll wait until I talk to Uncle Will."_

_What could he say? The whole situation had presented itself so suddenly that his head spun. He hadn't even thought about leaving. It had never been an option. He wasn't sure he could leave, or even that he wanted to. But he couldn't bare the thought of losing her. He couldn't think about it now. He nodded his head. If it would make her happy, he would agree to wait. _


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N**: **Here it is. The final chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it. As usual, concrit and reviews are much appreciated!  
**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Outsiders.**

Ava's toes tapped nervously and she stared at the front door. She checked her watch for the twentieth time, to see only two minutes had elapsed since the last glance. She returned her gaze to the front door. Uncle Will would be home soon, and he would have the answer to the questions she had plied him with the previous evening.

After her return from telling Johnny her news, she had rushed home to catch Will before he headed off to bed. She had begged for his legal opinion on the possibility of Johnny coming with her, but he had not been very supportive or confident. He was a criminal lawyer, he had said, and immigration was not his specialty. Still, he agreed to ask one of his colleagues the next day, though told her not to get her hopes up.

Ava was desperate, she knew. When she had first heard the news of her impending departure she had been ecstatic. It was only once she had seen Johnny's face that the full reality of the situation struck her. She had grasped hysterically at the concept of his joining her. She hadn't thought it through. She knew he was just being nice, humouring her. She knew that the whole situation was ridiculous and unrealistic. She wasn't even sure Johnny wanted to move with her. Wasn't she essentially asking him to give up his own home and friends for her? Wasn't this something she was unwilling to do for him? She wondered at the gall, the complete selfishness of her actions. And yet she clung to the idea, unwilling and unable to conceive of a world which did not include him. Even if it was a world in which she had existed for nearly all her 17 years.

The front door opened, and Ava stood up from her seat at the foot of the stairs. Will came in, briefcase in hand. His eyes met his nieces, and he forced a smile.

"So?" Ava asked, feeling if she had to wait a moment longer she wouldn't be able to breathe.

"Let me get my things put away, Ava." Will said, not unkindly. She watched him as he left his briefcase at the bottom of the stairs and loosened his tie. Ava thought quickly about telling him to move the briefcase, Eileen was forever after him not to leave it where someone would trip over it. She said nothing, however, afraid she would unintentionally prolong the wait for his news.

Once he had taken off his suit jacket and tie, he looked at her expectant, eager face and sighed. "Come into the study, Ava." He said, motioning toward the hallway. Ava led the way in, and once there took a seat on one of the overstuffed burgundy leather chairs. Will sat down across from her, and let out a long sigh. He looked at Ava again, and she knew what he was going to say.

"I spoke with Jim. He's handled a few immigration cases. Not through Canada… but he assures me some things are pretty standard. He doubts, very much… seeing as Johnny has a record - even if it was self-defence… And it couldn't just happen over night. You'd have to get married, probably, and even then it wouldn't be for sure. And Ava, is that something you really want to do? You're only 17..." Ava felt the hot tears overflow. She buried her face in her hands. How could this be happening? How could something so wonderful be tied up in something how heart wrenching?

"Ava, I'm very sorry. But I just don't think it's fair to ask Johnny to go with you." He said, placing his hand on her knee in comfort. "I know you love him. I know he loves you, but you're both still young. Getting married just so he can immigrate… and the cost and the time… You're both still so young. You'll get over this."

Ava shook her head, and her shoulder shook with sobs. She would _never_ get over this.

"I-I can't. I can't leave him. Oh, Uncle Will. Isn't there anything you can do?"

"What exactly do you think I can do, Ava? I don't have any power here. Be _reasonable_. On top of everything else, Johnny has a life here. He has a future. Eileen says he's got a gift with flowers. She's got her eye on him to take over the nursery… what would he have in Canada with you? _Think_ for a second what he would be giving up. His family, his home.. The very things you've wanted back all this time are the things you'd ask him to sacrifice?"

Ava knew he spoke the truth. Still, the tears did not subside. She wished he would stop talking, but he didn't.

"What would he do? Tell me that. Watch you finish school, go on to pre-med and then to medical school, fulfilling your dreams while he stood on the sidelines?"

"He could… he could try to fulfill his dreams too." She sobbed, knowing she sounded like a ridiculous child. She couldn't help it.

"Oh? And what dreams are those that would be easier for him to fulfill there, without the support of his friends and family?" Will sounded a bit incredulous.

"Johnny doesn't have a family! _I'm_ his family." Ava yelled, the anger overcoming her. The minute she said it she knew it wasn't entirely true. Johnny didn't have any brothers or sisters, Johnny's mother and father might as well have been total strangers for the support, love and affection he got from them. But Johnny had Ponyboy, and he had Soda and Darry, and even Steve and Two-Bit. And she wondered briefly about Dally Winston, whom she had never met but who Johnny always spoke of in awed tones. Johnny did have a family.

"You're not being rational. You're not being objective."

Ava said nothing, but continued to sob.

"This isn't like you, Ava. You always look at both sides of the coin. You always take everything into consideration. That's why you want to be a doctor. That's the _principle_. Be reasonable. Be objective. Detach. This will pass."

Ava heard him, and she knew he was right. This wasn't like her. Well, maybe the childish, selfish part was. But the objective, reasonable part of her knew this whole situation was silly. She should just face facts. She couldn't have both home and Johnny.

She stood up from the chair tried to dry her eyes. "Thank you, Uncle Will." She said softly. "I appreciate you trying."

Will smiled at her, nodded, but said no more. She turned and walked slowly to her room. She lay down on the bed and immediately started sobbing again. Maybe she couldn't have both her home and Johnny, but she could still cry over it.

_The Next Day…_

Johnny wiped the dirt from his hands and bit his lower lip. He stared at the garden and pondered what he would do next year to improve the soil quality. Compost? Bone meal? He would have to ask Ava- he stopped in mid thought. Ava wouldn't be there next year. Ava wouldn't be there next week. He moved up the steps and sat in the porch swing. Ignoring the dirt on his hands, he rubbed his face, before staring out over the neighbourhood roofs and contemplating the sunset.

He hadn't slept at all the night before, substituting sleep for tossing and turning. He chided himself that he should have prepared himself for this inevitability. He should have known his happiness wouldn't last. Everything had been near perfect. And in another month and a half, when Dally was to be released, everything would have been as close to perfect as was possible. He should have known it just wasn't in the cards for him to be this happy.

He loved Ava. He knew that now. He thought foolishly of his response when Ponyboy had asked him, and regretted his words. His gaze slid from the sun setting over the western horizon, to the front yard. He could still imagine Mr. & Mrs. Curtis there, arms about each other, heads tilted against one another, the children laughing and playing around them. It wouldn't be him. It wouldn't be Ava and him, as he had imagined it might one day.

His reverie was interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up to the curb. He saw Ava park, then get out. She waited for him at the foot of the steps, and he came down slowly. They didn't embrace or kiss when they stood face to face, toe to toe.

Johnny could tell by the red rims and puffiness of her eyes that Ava had been crying. But as she stood before him, she was calm and collected. She took a deep breath and started:

"Uncle Will said… that it would be damned well near impossible."

_She swore_. Johnny thought, instantly remembering the moment on the porch where she had uttered "shit" under her breath. At the time he had thought the whole thing very funny, but he didn't feel much like laughing now.

Ava swallowed the lump in her throat and continued.

"We have to be reasonable, Johnny." The words sounded rehearsed, but Johnny said nothing. "It was wrong of me to ask you to give up your life for me."

_No, it wasn't._ He thought. _It wasn't because you love me. And I love you._

"You wouldn't ask me, because you know… you knew better than I did, that it's too much to ask of anyone."

_It isn't. It isn't because I love you, Ava. I love you and I don't want to be without you.._

"We just have to accept we can't have everything we want from life."

_I would give up everything else._

"I have a life back home, and I have a future there. And you have a life and a future here."

_I have nothing without you. You are my life. You are my future._

"We have to be… I have to be _reasonable."_

Johnny nodded. He swallowed the lump in his throat. He placed his hands on her arms, dwelling on the sensation of her bare skin in his hands. It was hard to believe he would not feel that warmth beneath his fingers again.

In his mind, he wrestled with his feelings. He honestly did not know what would happen once Ava was gone. Couldn't he beg her to stay? If it were impossible for him to go with her, why couldn't she stay with him?

But he knew he couldn't ask. He knew because of all the times she had longed for home, missing her family and her life in the small town where she came from. If he asked, and she said yes, how would he get by knowing what she had given up? Would she grow to resent him? Would she dwell on the sacrifice until it was all that she thought of anymore? In his mind, he saw the longing take over her, changing her from the girl he loved, who stood before him now, to someone else. Someone alone, without roots, without a home. He knew what that felt like, and he could not inflict it on her.

"When are you leaving?" he asked, his voice sounding incredibly calm, considering the turmoil inside.

"Next week. But… I don't think we should see each other again." Ava avoided his gaze, but did not slip from his touch. "I-I don't think I could stand it. I can't say goodbye to you again."

Johnny nodded. He squeezed her arms, tightly, and drew her into an embrace. He buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply and savouring the perfume of her shampoo. Ava's arms slipped about him, and she closed her eyes tightly, breathing in the smell of his hair grease, the smell of fresh soil on his clothes. The way the two odours mixed would forever make her think of Johnny.

Johnny moved back, but they clung to each other tightly, foreheads touching, eyes closed. After a moment, he leaned in and let his lips touch hers softly, but only for a moment.

"You'd better go now." He said, his words barely audible. "If you don't, I don't think I'll be able to… to let go."

Ava nodded, and he saw the tears coming to her eyes again. He watched her swallow the lump in her throat. With a final squeeze, she released him, and he her. She turned and headed back to her car. Johnny watched, cemented to the walk, as she climbed into the driver's seat, and drove away. He watched the car taillights disappear around the corner, just as the last rays of sunlight disappeared from over the neighbourhood roof tops.


	15. AUTHOR

AUTHOR'S NOTES ON "SALVATION"

As some people know, I actually started writing this story as an exercise in character revelation and development. As far as that goes, I really learned a lot and I feel the exercise was a success.

As far as the story itself goes, I still think it's pretty "meh". I mean, there isn't a lot of substance. It's really just:

Boy meets girl/girl meets boy

They fall in love

They get their hearts broken.

I fancied it up by throwing in some foreshadowing and heavy handed metaphor - which incidentally was the whole garden thing. As in, the old flowers were in rough shape, but with kindness, attention and work they were made beautiful. There were a few more metaphors tossed in for good measure, but really that's it.

I didn't like the way I sort of spent time on Soda and Cathy but then pretty much dropped them. I actually had a really hard time juggling so many characters. That's why I didn't bring Darry or Dally into it at all, though after I decided to resurrect him (in the original version in my mind Dally had died), I initially planned to bring him in. I'm glad I didn't now, though, because it was hard enough to handle Ava, her aunt & uncle, Johnny, Ponyboy, Cathy, Soda, Two-Bit and Steve and sundry background Socs.

I'm not sure the scene with Johnny watching his parents through the window was necessary. I wanted to write a chapter devoted to him, and that's what came out… but I'm not sure it was the best I could have done.

I often had a hard time figuring out what was a necessary scene and what wasn't. For example, I debated writing a scene after Ava tells Johnny she's leaving. The scene would have involved Soda comforting or at least discussing the news with Johnny. Ultimately I guess I chose that it wasn't necessary and since the story was already nearing 40,000 words, I decided to cut it. I'm not entirely comfortably with that decision.

At the other end of the spectrum, some other scenes which I did add seem a bit superfluous now… Especially toward the beginning. I justify them to myself by saying they establish the characters, their relationships and roles within the story.

When I reread the earlier chapters, I feel I did a better job of keeping the characters (namely Johnny) true. As the story progresses, I'm not sure I'm as good at it. I feel like maybe the story took over, and I lost a bit of the original characters…

Just FYI, I will be removing all Author's notes from the story once I do a final edit. At which point, I will then add them to this author's note and leave the story clear of them. I hope this will reveal some true strength of the story, so that readers can just see it without my comments/explanations…

FUN FACTS:

- When I posted the first few chapters, I was so completely new to the world of fan fic that I actually had no idea what the following terminology meant:

-OC

-OOC

-Slash

-Lemon

-Mary-Sue

I kept seeing some of these terms/acronyms posted on other people's stories, or even written in reviews I was getting. If it weren't for the help of Psychotic Mind, I probably still wouldn't know what some meant.

- I was also completely unaware of some taboos, some of which I unintentionally committed. Such as:

-threatening to stop writing if people didn't review

-making a character too perfect, or a "Mary-Sue".

Etc…

Boy is my face still red.

- I spent a lot of time desperately trying to figure out a sub-plot, but everything I came up with was WAY more interesting than the actual love story between Johnny/Ava, so I couldn't add it because it would detract from that. I will be adding subplot, or secondary plots, to future stories. I consider it a new layer or level of writing which I must work on. Don't expect I'll be any good at it right away.

- Ava's hair changes colour in the story. She starts out as a strawberry blond, but later becomes a "wheat" blonde. Oops.

- I often forgot the names of some teachers in the school, and so rather than search through the story to find the names, I just wrote that the characters were in a different classroom and thus had a different teacher.

-I was incredibly lazy about editing. Sometimes, I would just remove a sentence here or there, but a lot of the story currently posted is pretty much exactly as it came out of my head. Occasionally, when stumped for a word, I resorted to a thesaurus.

-I ran google searches for things like 60's slang (a la birth control seats), 60's pin-up girls (ie Margaret Nolan), hardiness zones to make sure the plants I was mentioning would actually grow in Tulsa, and Euclid, to be sure he didn't have anything to do with logarithms.

- The character of Carl Kirk was actually going to have a bigger role. In my original plot idea, he was going to take Ava to the dance, at which point a jealous Johnny would break in and bust them up, declaring his love for Ava. This was also suppose to be the original ending scene. The second I put more than two minutes thought into it, I realized that this was absolutely ridiculous and scraped the idea.

-I got the name "Hickock" because I looked around the room and saw "In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote on the shelf. I actually often do this for characters I really only need as filler. Look around the room and randomly draw on something in order to name them.

-My favourite part of the story, in terms of humour, was when Soda started pulling up Johnny's garden and when Johnny protested, he said: "You mean you planted this? On purpose?" I thought that was really funny. I was a bit surprised when no one commented.

-The bit where Eileen is talking about how ugly her nephews were is based on something that actually happened to me. My cousin and his wife had a baby boy and it was really, really ugly. But what can you say? They didn't know how ugly he was. And he grew into a real cute kid, so no harm done. Anyway, ever since then I feel a bit nervous whenever I look at a newborn…

Thanks to all for reading and I'll be doing editing soon.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Notes: So I wasn't going to post this at all, but only PM it to people who requested it. But more people requested it than I thought would... so to save myself the trouble of PMing it I've decided to just post it instead.**

**I reread a section of it, and boy did I cringe. Hahaha. Awkward...**

**But seriously, I hope my fellow lemon lovers will enjoy. And thank you to all who are interested... I appreciate it! Oh! And I apologize if this offends anyone. It certainly isn't meant to.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders...  
**

Ava swallowed her birth control pill and smiled at her reflection in the mirror. She ran her hand through her hair and leaned closer, examining her complexion and the quality of her make up job. After a few touch ups she stood upright again and straightened her skirt. She had to look her best tonight.

She had managed to get the birth control pills on her last check up, knowing she had only weaseled the prescription out of her doctor because he was "progressive", and admitted he would rather give her birth control pills than a pregnancy test.

After glancing at her vanity clock, she grabbed her purse and keys from where they rested on the duvet, and left. She skipped down the stairs and headed for the front door, calling out to her aunt and uncle:

"I'm going to meet Johnny! I'll be back by midnight!"

She heard an acknowledgement called from the kitchen, and closed the front door behind her. As she walked toward her car, she took a deep breath and tried to stop her stomach from flipping for nerves. Tonight was the night. Tonight, she and Johnny would…

She didn't want to think about it anymore. She had stayed awake all the previous night, trying to imagine how it would be, how it would feel. She decided at about 3 in the morning, that she was only driving herself crazy with anticipation, and it was better to simply wait and enjoy it when it happened.

As she drove toward the East end of town, Ava's thoughts ran over her previous few dates with Johnny. She and Johnny had been getting more and more heavy lately. If her car had had a back seat, she was sure things would have progressed further by now. As it was, they hadn't really had a chance to be alone in a place where it was physically possible to have sex. And tonight was no exception.

Though the Curtis home was to be the scene of a party, Ava had decided after a brief debate with herself, that this wouldn't matter. If anything, it was the perfect guise for a clandestine meeting in Johnny's bedroom. As long as they locked the door, and were inconspicuous about getting into the room, Ava was convinced no one would notice their absence.

XXX

Johnny ran his hand through his hair and stared at his own reflection in the bathroom mirror. He sighed deeply and watched his mouth twitch nervously before turning away and leaving the room. Soda and Steve were arm wrestling at the kitchen table, Darry putting away breakable items, Two-Bit shot-gunning a can of beer, and Ponyboy relaxing on the couch. The whole gang was there, and they were completely unaware of what was going to happen that night to Johnny.

"Ponyboy," Johnny called to his friend. "Can I talk to you a minute?" No one noticed or would have thought it strange had they noticed, that Ponyboy and Johnny went into the latter's bedroom and closed the door behind them.

"You OK Johnny? You look like a nervous wreck." Ponyboy commented, noticing Johnny's hands shaking. Both boys took a seat, Johnny on the bed and Ponyboy at the desk.

"I-I am a bit nervous, Pony." Johnny nodded but did not look up from his shaking hands. He clasped them together firmly to stop them, but the nervous energy was channelled to his leg, which began to bounce up and down rhythmically.

Ponyboy watched the display, but said nothing. He waited and his patience paid off.

"You know Ava's coming tonight. And I guess she went to the doctor… and I guess he gave her some pills." Johnny began. A concerned look crossed Ponyboy's face.

"Is she OK? Her TB isn't back, is it?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. They're the kinda of pills girls take when they… don't want to get pregnant." Johnny explained at last.

"Oh." Was Ponyboy's monosyllabic response.

"Yeah. So, tonight…" Johnny let his voice trail off, but Ponyboy noticed that his leg jerked even more violently than it had moments before.

"Tonight you two are going to have sex?" Ponyboy finished. Johnny opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He shut it and nodded instead.

"Gee!" Ponyboy raised his eyebrows in surprised. "Well, I guess that's… great!" When Johnny didn't say anything, he continued. "I guess I can see why you're nervous."

Johnny nodded again and started chewing on his thumb nail. Ponyboy crossed the room to his friend's side and swatted Johnny's hand from his mouth. "Stop that. You don't have anything to be worried about. Everything's going to be OK."

"You think?" Johnny asked hopefully, substituting his thumb nail with his lower lip.

"Sure. I mean, if it were me, the one thing I'd be really nervous about would be the… pregnancy part. And you've got that taken care of. So there's nothing to worry about."

"I think there's more to worry about." Johnny didn't sound convinced. "I mean, what if I-I hurt her or something?"

"Oh. I hadn't thought of that." There was a pause. Ponyboy tried to rack his brain for something to say to Johnny to make him feel more relaxed. He couldn't help but feel, for the first time, that his imagination failed him. He briefly considered calling Soda in, but knew that Johnny would never be able to talk to even Sodapop about something this intimate.

Ponyboy couldn't help but feel a bit relieved when the door swung open and Soda was standing there anyway, grinning and laughing.

"What're you two doing in here? People are starting to arrive!"

Ponyboy and Johnny looked at each other, and Ponyboy was not surprised to see the nervous look still in Johnny's brown eyes.

"I guess we'd better get out there." He shrugged and stood.

"Yeah." Johnny stood also, feet tapping nervously.

"You know what you gonna do?" Ponyboy inquired as they made their way back to the living room.

"Just… go with it. I guess." Johnny shrugged, though Ponyboy knew that his friend was anything but blasé about the situation.

XXX

Ava could feel herself moisten as Johnny's tongue circled through her mouth. They were on the swing on the front porch of the Curtis home, the only place available at the moment for two people to sit together. The living room and kitchen were crowded with people, drinking and laughing, dancing and making out. Johnny and Ava had been forced to spend the first part of the evening on the porch, if only to be able to have some relative privacy.

"Johnny…" Ava moaned, pulling back from their heated embrace. She looked into his eyes, her arms still about his neck, his arms still about her waist. "Why don't we go inside?"

She waited while Johnny took a deep breath, his gaze never leaving hers. He swallowed hard, but when he spoke his voice did not quaver. "Do you want to go to my room?"

Still not looking away, Ava nodded. "But only if you do." She added, kissing him lightly.

"I do." He said, standing up. He took her hand and led her toward the front door. With Ava still in tow, Johnny crossed the living room and then the kitchen, nodding to a few people who noticed as they slipped silently down the hall. Once they were inside his bedroom, Johnny closed the door. Glancing quickly around the room, he grabbed the chair from the desk and brought it back. Without a word, he jammed it up under the doorknob, before turning back to Ava. She stood next to the bed, biting her lower lip, her hands nervously straightening her skirt. They stared at one another across the room for a minute, before walking forward to embrace.

Ava felt the heady rush as Johnny's lips met hers, and the kiss deepened. His hands roamed over her back and down to her butt, while hers knitted into his thick, greased black hair. She could feel the familiar numbness run through her arms and legs, she could feel herself moisten, and her head spun. She knew Johnny was feeling it too, as his kiss became greedy, pressing hotly and forcefully against her mouth. She pulled away quickly. He looked at her, his eyes questioning. She licked her lips, but did not take her gaze from his. She felt her hands reach for the edge of his t-shirt, and pulled it over his head in a swift motion.

Before she had a chance to look over his torso, Johnny had pulled her closer, their lips locked again. She felt his hands grasp at her breasts, and when he found the fabric too much, he fumbled with the buttons. In the few times he had opened her shirt, Johnny fingers had become more deft, and it took but moments before Ava's skin felt the coolness of the evening night, as her blouse slid over her shoulders and crumpled on the floor. Without a moment's hesitation, she reached behind her and undid the clasps to her bra, letting it fall away to join her shirt.

Johnny's arms slid around her naked waist and hers around his neck. The instant their bare bodies touched, both gasped through the kiss. It had never occurred to Ava, the intimacy of bare flesh upon bare flesh. She had been preoccupied with the idea of Johnny being inside her, and had not considered how it would feel to have him pressed against her. The sensation was beyond description. For a few moments they stopped kissing, but held each other tightly, foreheads and nose tips touching, breathing heavily, eyes trapped in each other's gaze.

In another heartbeat they were kissing madly again. Johnny felt the heat rising from his groin, but couldn't stop the passionate kisses between them. One moment his lips were locked with hers, his hands running through her hair, the next he was kissing her cheek, her ear, down her neck, his hands gliding down her back, one arm tightening about her waist, while the other explored her breast.

He grasped it hotly, and felt her quiver and take a sharp, pleasured breath when his thumb flirted gently over the nipple. It was only for a fleeting moment, though, as his other hand found the zipper at the back of her skirt. With barely contained anticipation, Johnny slid it open, and felt the fabric drop to the floor. He was so absorbed in getting her skirt off, he hadn't noticed that Ava was groping at the fly of his jeans. In another instant she had them open and was pulling them over his hips. Without waiting for Johnny to step out of the garment, Ava was already sliding her thumbs into the elastic waistband of Johnny's boxers, sliding those over his hips to where they formed a pile on the floor.

Once free of the confines of his clothing, Johnny's cock stood to attention, and Ava felt it press against her as they locked in another embrace. Ava broke away for a moment, standing arms length from Johnny. He opened his mouth as if to speak, questioning why she was breaking their kiss, but stopped himself. Ava, without taking her eyes from him, removed her shoes and stockings, dropping them to the floor without a second thought. Then she slid her panties off over her hips, and stood before him naked.

Both Ava and Johnny stared at the other's naked body. Johnny couldn't take his eyes from her. He had seen pictures of naked girls before, but he had never been directly in front of one who seemed so unabashed by her own nudity. Ava had a beautiful body, and his eyes greedily took in each smooth curve, the rounded yet perky breasts, the arc of her hips, the long legs stretching to the floor. Ava shook her hair out, then ran her hands through it, never breaking her gaze from Johnny. He gasped lightly, and felt the tip of his cock moisten in anticipation.

Ava bit her lower lip hungrily as her eyes ravaged Johnny's physique. He was of slight build, but working in the nursery had developed his muscles artistically. She could see the outline of abs, the strong shoulders, the lean and flexible biceps and triceps. Over his arms and parts of his shoulders and neck were scars, from burns and skin graphs, but even under the damaged skin the musculature was apparent. She reached out, her fingers exploring the topography of the scar tissue, first over the arms, then up to the shoulder… down over the firm chest, to the stomach, then down to his waist, and finally, with trembling fingers, grasping at the erect appendage below.

A sharp intake of breath alerted her to the pleasure her gesture bestowed. Stepping closer, biting her lower lip, eyes locked with her lovers, Ava ran her thumb over the moisten head of Johnny's rigid member. She massaged it slowly and watched as his breathing became shallow and quick. He reached out to her, his hands grasping excitedly at each part of her body. Finally, after clutching her breasts desperately, he brought his hands to the back of her head, and applying as little force as necessary, guided her downward.

Ava fell to her knees and without a moment's hesitation let her full lips encircle Johnny's cock. She felt his whole body shudder as she ran her tongue in circles around the head, before enveloping as much of the shaft as she could. She pulled her tongue back and let it flick lightly against the tip, savouring the flavour of the salty pre-cum which had emerged from the small gap. Swallowing, she bobbed back and forth, sucking and revelling in the jerking and barely controlled thrusting of Johnny's hips. She could hear him moan, and felt his fists grab handfuls of her hair, as he struggled to gain control of the violent impulse to drive himself into her mouth as deeply as he could.

He could feel the pressure mounting, but Ava showed no signs of stopping. He could feel it coming closer and closer, rising within him. Still, she continued, as though on a desperate campaign to withdraw his seed. Finally, his fists still clutching locks of her blonde tresses, he pulled her off.

"No," He breathed, barely able to speak. "Not yet…". He pulled her to her feet and kissed her savagely, tasting himself on her lips and tongue. His hand slid down her flat stomach and his fingers moved past the patch of blond hair between her legs. Instantly he felt a sweet, warm moistness. Searching, he pushed his way in, his fingers enveloped in the soft folds. Ava moaned in his mouth, and he felt her hand overlap his own, guiding him both to a new location, and in the rhythm of the pressure he applied.

Without breaking the kiss, without either of them moving their hands, they fell backwards onto the bed. With his fingers still deep inside her, his thumb still gently pressing against a pulsing mound beneath, Johnny readjusted his position, so that he now was atop her. Ava opened her legs to accommodate him, and he felt his penis press against the mound of her pelvic bone. He took his hand from her, and pulled back on the kiss. Their eyes met again.

Ava's face was flushed, a light sweat formed at her hairline, causing her skin to glisten alluringly in the moonlight from the window. Her full lips were pouted and opened slightly, her eyes staring at him intensely. He saw her nod quickly, and with his free hand grasped himself, and - once finding the wet, hot opening - pushed himself inside her.

Ava cried out and arched her back as he sank deep inside. He stopped suddenly, afraid he had hurt her, but when he felt her hands on his butt, pulling him inward, he knew it had been a cry of pleasure and not of pain. For him, the sensation was indescribable. The heat, the wet, the way she gave way to him, surrounding his cock, welcoming it. Johnny couldn't help but moan deeply and press in further. He felt Ava move under him, her head tilted back, her mouth open but no sound coming out. Slowly, after catching his breath, he started to pull out, and he felt her hips lower in response.

He began to pump slowly, in and out… He couldn't handle anything faster or harder than jerking thrusts. With each movement he felt her rise beneath him, trying to accommodate him more, lifting herself up so she could pull him in deeper. He felt her hands slid up his back and grasp at his shoulders. For himself, he could feel the pressure building again, and it took all his will power and strength to contain it. Lowering his torso, he brought himself face to face with Ava. Their mouths met hungrily, but just for a moment. As he pressed himself into her, more forcefully this time, their mouths fell apart. Their eyes locked, and Johnny couldn't help but begin to move more quickly, ramming harder with each thrust. He opened his lips and sucked the air in through his teeth, taking deep breaths, eyes never wavering from Ava's. It was this concentration which enabled him to continue. Even still, he was moments away from release. But Ava wasn't, and he knew that more than anything, more than his own pleasure even, he wanted her to cum.

He could see her chest heaving as her own breath became hurried and shallow. With one hand he grasped at her breasts and squeezed, causing a sharp inhale and a louder cry to escape her. He kissed her forcefully, biting her lower lip, leaving a trail of marks down her neck to her shoulder. He ran his hand through her hair, taking a handful and pulling lightly. He increased the rhythm, each thrust a bit stronger, a bit harder.

Ava threw her head back and arched her back again, raising her hips in time with Johnny. She tried to open her legs wider, she wrapped them about his waist, trying desperately to bring them up higher, to help him get in deeper. Her hands moved from his shoulders, down his back to his butt, which she clutched and pushed and pulled. She couldn't get him deep enough, she couldn't get herself open enough. She wanted him inside her with a madness she had never before experienced. She wanted him deep, she wanted to feel him blow inside her. She wanted to Johnny in her forever. She could hear the loud cries escaping from her now, but could do nothing to stop it. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered if anyone could hear her, or his panting, grunting… But it didn't matter. She didn't care.

She could feel the pulsing quicken, she could feel the volts travel through her loins, down her legs, her whole body began to spasm. It was happening. She was cumming. Her breath was so shallow and quick she thought she would suffocate before the climax.

"Johnny… I-I…" But the words couldn't form beyond that. Looking at his face, his teeth set firmly, his eyes shut tightly, she could tell he was holding it in. She could see his crazed efforts to wait. He suddenly opened his eyes, and their gazes met. Her whole body, now completely in tune with his, knew that this was it. She felt him inside her, his cock filling her, pulsing. She saw the release on his face, felt the warmth as his cum slid out with each lasting, slowing thrust. And she felt the explosion from her own body. It moved through her, each muscle tightening , a long, cry escaping her. She closed her eyes and let the feeling take over, course through her. She felt Johnny collapse on top of her, his breathing deep and slow. The pulsing began to subside, but periodically she felt a build up and release between her legs, slowly now… each one a little less than the last.

He was still inside her, but she could feel him diminish, feel his cum slowly leaking, running down the inside of her thighs, down her butt, to form a wet spot on the sheet beneath them. Slowly, Johnny slid from her.

He propped himself up on his elbows and their eyes met. She wondered briefly how she looked.

Johnny let his hand fall to the top of Ava's mass of blond hair. It was so matted and messy, he had to smile. He leaned forward and kissed her, softly, slowly, letting his lips linger against hers. As he felt his erection subside, he rolled off her, but gathered her in his arms and buried his face in her hair. She was his. He was hers. And he knew then, without a doubt, that he loved her.


End file.
